ls -la

total 12446348
-d---- 0 11-Apr-109 17:47 .
-d---- 0 11-Apr-109 17:47 ..
a---h- 0 29-Oct-107 21:03 .localized
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a----- 3233728 16-Mar-105 03:18 01 Track 1.mp3
a----- 5674476 4-Apr-109 05:56 01 What About Us-.wma
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a----- 8269040 29-May-106 10:21 04 Apollo.m4p
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a----- 27480398 23-Oct-101 08:23 9.mp3
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a----- 6965637 4-Apr-109 08:06 Activity.mp3
a----- 7167164 27-Dec-100 05:20 Agnelli & Nelson - Everyday [7' Radio Mix].mp3
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a----- 10573824 27-Dec-100 00:20 Agnelli & Nelson - Reincarnations.mp3
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a----- 8676809 4-Apr-109 08:06 Ain't Nothin' Goin' On But The.mp3
a----- 4280030 29-Jul-104 23:49 Alanis Morisette - Head Over Feet.mp3
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a----- 3646287 4-Apr-109 08:06 Alanis Morisette - Not the doctor.mp3
a----- 3835192 29-Jul-104 23:49 Alanis Morisette - You Learn.mp3

a----- 4218461 21-Mar-104 18:19 Alice In Chains - Again.mp3
a----- 3031040 21-Mar-104 14:08 Alice In Chains - Dam That River.mp3
a----- 5411317 21-Mar-104 13:23 Alice In Chains - Down In A Hole.mp3
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a----- 5553197 20-Mar-104 15:30 Alice In Chains - It Ain't Like That.mp3
a----- 4089730 20-Mar-104 16:32 Alice In Chains - No Excuses.mp3
a----- 4139396 20-Mar-104 15:53 Alice In Chains - Nutshell.mp3
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a----- 3739061 5-Mar-104 22:54 house_dance11212325-2.mp3
a----- 30528155 5-Mar-104 22:55 house_dance1123-1053-1.mp3
a----- 12949628 5-Mar-104 22:55 house_dance1123-1053.mp3
a----- 22109203 5-Mar-104 22:55 house_dance1123-1118.mp3
a----- 9243584 5-Mar-104 22:55 house_dance1123-1130.mp3
a----- 2923962 5-Jul-98 08:07 how do i.mp3
a----- 8402152 11-Mar-103 00:53 i believe.mp3
a----- 3360937 11-Mar-103 01:58 i believe128.mp3
a----- 2066808 5-Nov-104 10:43 i feel love-blue man group.mp3
a----- 69598488 20-Apr-102 09:52 i feel love.wav
a----- 8218620 31-Oct-98 16:49 i love america!s.mp3
a----- 6232036 5-Jul-98 08:03 i love you take me home.mp3
a----- 5000881 5-Jan-102 19:29 iSayYeah.mp3
a----- 2032834 22-Aug-98 01:39 if you could read my mind!sSHORT.mp3
a----- 9370456 23-May-98 17:14 im a man.mp3
a----- 5761695 10-Apr-103 08:06 intensify.mp3
a----- 4425605 4-Apr-109 13:59 isley brothers - shout.mp3
a----- 29038549 17-Mar-104 09:05 italian0228-1.mp3
a----- 28501471 17-Mar-104 09:09 italian0228-2.mp3
a----- 24970552 17-Mar-104 09:13 italian0228-3.mp3
a----- 9607626 17-Mar-104 09:14 italian0229-1.mp3
a----- 14160874 17-Mar-104 09:17 italian0229-3.mp3
a----- 17683016 17-Mar-104 09:19 italian0229-4.mp3
a----- 13619617 17-Mar-104 09:21 italian0229-5.mp3
a----- 17306017 5-Apr-104 18:24 italiandance030200254.mp3
a----- 15077041 28-Apr-104 00:07 italiandance0427-2233.mp3
a----- 10769136 27-Apr-104 23:56 italyscatman0416-2228.mp3
a----- 6085660 4-Jul-98 14:41 its not over!s.mp3
a----- 10651324 16-Mar-105 15:26 ive_got_to_love_somebody)_today.mp3
a----- 1261280 6-Aug-106 20:24 jcpenney.mp3
a----- 1249796 21-Jun-107 18:44 jeep-this_is_the_time.mp3
a----- 10099286 18-Jul-98 17:46 jingle rock risky changes!s.mp3
a----- 8764186 29-Oct-100 04:36 john davis & the monster orchestra- ain't that enough for you.mp3
a----- 3215905 5-Mar-104 22:55 johnny o - Take me in your arms.mp3
a----- 3397760 21-Mar-104 15:55 judas pries - Living After Midnight.mp3
a----- 2170532 20-Mar-104 03:25 judas priest - Breaking the Law.mp3
a----- 5002385 4-Apr-109 14:33 judas priest - Machine Man.mp3
a----- 3001896 4-Apr-109 14:00 judas priest - epitaph.mp3
a----- 5333995 3-Oct-104 08:40 killer - atb.mp3
a----- 1215344 4-Aug-106 21:42 kohls.mp3
a----- 3654679 30-May-104 13:38 koreanhouse0522-2028.mp3
a----- 15443173 30-May-104 13:48 koreanhouse0522-2029.mp3
a----- 9032354 4-Jul-98 18:28 ktusat4-2 - spanish hustle2!s.mp3
a----- 16780 26-Jul-106 21:03 law&order.mp3
a----- 1810614 4-Mar-105 23:16 letter.mp3
a----- 5030556 4-Mar-105 23:16 letthebeat2.mp3
a----- 8005514 31-Oct-98 14:27 level3 part 1!s.mp3
a----- 6187800 31-Oct-98 14:15 level3 part 2!s.mp3
a----- 8045554 1-Nov-98 01:08 level3 part 3!s .mp3
a----- 8045554 4-Mar-105 23:16 level3 part 3!s.mp3
a----- 5082364 31-Oct-98 14:35 level3 part 4!s.mp3
a----- 6346286 1-Nov-98 01:19 level3 part 5!s.mp3
a----- 3625776 1-Nov-98 01:40 level3 part 7!s.mp3
a----- 10671510 1-Nov-98 00:38 level3 part3.mp3
a----- 2956225 4-Apr-104 13:18 linkenpark 1.mp3
a----- 2491454 4-Apr-104 13:18 linkenpark 2.mp3
a----- 3252976 4-Apr-104 13:18 linkenpark 3.mp3
a----- 3204911 4-Apr-104 13:18 linkenpark 4.mp3
a----- 3344927 4-Apr-104 13:17 linkenpark 5.mp3
a----- 2943686 4-Apr-104 13:17 linkenpark 6.mp3
a----- 3037727 4-Apr-104 13:17 linkenpark 7.mp3
a----- 3461537 4-Apr-104 13:16 linkenpark 8.mp3
a----- 2954553 4-Apr-104 13:16 linkenpark 9.mp3
a----- 3112124 4-Apr-104 13:16 linkenpark 10.mp3
a----- 2516114 4-Apr-104 13:19 linkenpark 11.mp3
a----- 3067402 4-Apr-104 13:19 linkenpark 12.mp3
a----- 2778174 16-May-105 14:23 listen to your heart.mp3
a----- 4049734 4-Mar-105 23:16 long time.mp3
a----- 4049734 8-Apr-103 15:14 longtime.mp3
a----- 4052794 6-Jun-98 14:58 love and desire!s.mp3
a----- 8424841 4-Apr-109 14:36 love inc - you're a superstar (club mix).mp3
a----- 3626200 9-Sep-98 04:12 love is alive 2!s.mp3
a----- 11322842 18-Jul-98 16:54 love me.mp3
a----- 1276575 10-Apr-103 08:06 love revolution.mp3
a----- 3358848 8-Apr-103 15:15 love revolution2.mp3
a----- 4517430 9-Aug-102 18:39 love supreme.mp3
a----- 3651630 31-Jul-98 10:17 love you more!s.mp3
a----- 7485440 25-May-103 16:25 love_revolution.mp3
a----- 4786886 14-Jun-104 11:24 loveattack.mp3
a----- 4905344 18-May-103 20:43 lovemtn.mp3
a----- 12279631 30-Jul-103 16:20 luke slater - Nothing At All (King Unique Dirty Dub).mp3
a----- 7792849 27-Apr-104 23:59 m1-0418-2059.mp3
a----- 11427004 30-May-104 13:49 m10525-0953.mp3
a----- 17542582 30-May-104 13:42 m10525-0954.mp3
a----- 15902093 14-Jun-104 11:23 m10606-1320.mp3
a----- 6547876 10-Aug-104 19:40 m10622-2036-2.mp3
a----- 5609140 10-Aug-104 19:44 m10622-2036.mp3
a----- 15357620 10-Aug-104 19:44 m10626-1924.mp3
a----- 4102687 25-Jan-105 18:03 m11126-1344.mp3
a----- 19046817 25-Jan-105 18:02 m11126-1417.mp3
a----- 3046564 30-May-98 18:48 macho man!s.mp3
a----- 464840 17-May-106 20:18 madras.mp3
a----- 534656 20-Dec-106 19:28 madworld.mp3
a----- 4629606 4-Mar-105 23:26 makemefeel.mp3
a----- 1777162 14-Jun-104 11:26 manuela we are family-1.mp3
a----- 1777162 30-May-104 13:37 manuela we are family.mp3
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a----- 4351790 17-Mar-104 09:33 matrix-finley.mp3
a----- 24449775 17-Mar-104 09:24 matrix0308-0820.mp3
a----- 7968808 17-Mar-104 09:25 matrix0308-0842.mp3
a----- 11548211 17-Mar-104 09:27 matrix0308-0933.mp3
a----- 7468929 17-Mar-104 09:28 matrix03151909.mp3
a----- 18482154 17-Mar-104 09:31 matrix03151951.mp3
a----- 7279176 17-Mar-104 09:32 matrix03160926.mp3
a----- 11877564 5-Apr-104 18:22 matrix0327-1856.mp3
a----- 15632927 5-Apr-104 18:21 matrix0327-1857.mp3
a----- 13559431 28-Apr-104 00:10 matrix0408-1822.mp3
a----- 2724675 25-Jan-105 18:03 matter of time.mp3
a----- 14529515 28-Apr-104 00:09 megamixers 0426-0841.mp3
a----- 9009528 7-Aug-103 21:11 melode.mp3
a----- 11703502 30-May-98 18:01 mighty real!s.mp3
a----- 5005596 18-May-103 20:43 mitch ryder & the detroit wheels - devil with a blue dress on.mp3
a----- 18496783 30-May-104 13:41 mlive0514-0044.mp3
a----- 3266769 30-May-104 13:37 mlive0514-0045.mp3
a----- 16063425 30-May-104 13:44 mlive0514-0112.mp3
a----- 7071869 30-May-104 13:50 mlive0514-0113.mp3
a----- 3574096 1-Mar-103 11:37 moby-stars.mp3
a----- 12887481 13-Aug-102 14:05 moby.mp3
a----- 5511016 4-Mar-105 23:17 movement3.mp3
-d---- 0 3-Apr-109 11:11 mp3
a----- 802899 28-Apr-104 00:02 munster theme.mp3
a----- 6880990 30-May-103 12:07 music use you.mp3
a----- 2456 25-Feb-109 16:15 music.txt
a----- 8548101 24-Nov-104 09:00 music10831-0112.mp3
a----- 8683996 9-Sep-98 06:23 my love is alive 3!s.mp3
a----- 3624114 9-Sep-98 04:18 my love is alive!s.mp3
a----- 108669 14-Jun-105 19:22 my_closing.mp3
a----- 96571 7-Dec-108 00:43 mymusic.txt
a----- 21530331 30-May-104 13:59 netherlands0529-2020.mp3
a----- 24249573 30-May-104 13:54 netherlands0529-2021.mp3
a----- 2778440 9-Sep-98 06:28 never can say goodbye!s.mp3
a----- 4173322 2-Aug-102 02:59 nickleback 1.mp3
a----- 3581492 2-Aug-102 03:00 nickleback 2.mp3
a----- 3683892 2-Aug-102 03:00 nickleback 3.mp3
a----- 3716075 2-Aug-102 03:01 nickleback 4.mp3
a----- 3891617 2-Aug-102 03:02 nickleback 5.mp3
a----- 2957897 2-Aug-102 03:02 nickleback 6.mp3
a----- 3278053 2-Aug-102 03:03 nickleback 7.mp3
a----- 3488287 2-Aug-102 03:03 nickleback 8.mp3
a----- 3751183 2-Aug-102 03:04 nickleback 9.mp3
a----- 5119582 2-Aug-102 03:05 nickleback 10.mp3
a----- 493817 21-May-106 21:08 nothingchange.m4a
a----- 20436113 5-Mar-104 22:55 oakenfeld goa.mp3
a----- 4049734 13-Jul-103 04:46 oldmelode.mp3
a----- 12460786 4-Mar-105 23:18 oliver lieb - Lightspeed (Circulation Remix).mp3
a----- 9264703 1-Mar-103 12:51 oliver_lieb-mod.mp3
a----- 4178518 3-Jun-104 21:45 one hit wonders - I Am The God Of Hell Fire.mp3
a----- 3040235 16-May-105 14:23 one word.mp3
a----- 3272998 4-Jul-98 14:47 only takes a minute!s.mp3
a----- 3014046 12-Jun-98 14:14 open your heart!s.mp3
a----- 8061590 21-Sep-98 10:28 orbital - impact USA.mp3
a----- 9138426 21-Sep-98 10:13 orbital - semidetached.mp3
a----- 778657 3-Oct-104 08:41 oxygen andrea britton am i on your mind.mp3
a----- 1205948 22-Jul-106 11:05 penney.mp3
a----- 2496332 21-Jun-107 19:10 pirate_master.mp3
a----- 39857 8-Feb-108 13:07 playlist.lst
a----- 3428114 31-Oct-98 14:41 power of love!s.mp3
a----- 5720189 28-Apr-104 00:01 proFM0416-2235.mp3
a----- 13974883 14-Jun-104 11:25 proFM0531-1332.mp3
a----- 9138676 4-Aug-103 08:34 proton0802-1.mp3
a----- 16080978 3-Aug-103 22:15 proton0802-3.mp3
a----- 5491982 4-Aug-103 08:19 proton0802-4-1.mp3
a----- 5491982 3-Aug-103 22:07 proton0802-4.mp3
a----- 28137011 4-Aug-103 08:24 proton0802-5.mp3
a----- 24571401 4-Aug-103 08:28 proton0802-6.mp3
a----- 9819950 4-Aug-103 08:29 proton0802-7.mp3
a----- 6490487 4-Aug-103 08:30 proton0802-8.mp3
a----- 16888893 4-Aug-103 08:33 proton0802-9.mp3
a----- 19142111 4-Aug-103 08:11 proton0803-1.mp3
a----- 14868061 3-Aug-103 22:09 proton0803-2.mp3
a----- 11278627 3-Aug-103 22:11 proton0803-3.mp3
a----- 10684289 3-Aug-103 22:12 proton0803-4.mp3
a----- 27103816 30-Aug-103 10:16 proton0804-1.mp3
a----- 13497572 30-Aug-103 10:06 proton0804-10.mp3
a----- 1395564 30-Aug-103 10:06 proton0804-12-2.mp3
a----- 11262745 30-Aug-103 10:04 proton0804-12.mp3
a----- 12608573 30-Aug-103 09:59 proton0804-13.mp3
a----- 20812276 30-Aug-103 10:02 proton0804-14.mp3
a----- 17148864 30-Aug-103 10:18 proton0804-2.mp3
a----- 9708354 30-Aug-103 10:12 proton0804-3.mp3
a----- 14166725 30-Aug-103 09:57 proton0804-7.mp3
a----- 25416514 30-Aug-103 10:10 proton0804-8.mp3
a----- 8338284 30-Aug-103 10:11 proton0804-9.mp3
a----- 9309621 5-Mar-104 22:55 psychadelic.mp3
a----- 24245811 17-Mar-104 09:36 pureDJ02282240-1.mp3
a----- 24459806 17-Mar-104 09:39 pureDJ02282240-2.mp3
a----- 8319116 31-Oct-98 16:07 push push - dancin!s.mp3
a----- 7251705 5-Mar-104 22:55 q-family2.mp3
a----- 56474888 26-Nov-103 21:32 q-family2.wav
a----- 12808359 5-Mar-104 22:55 q-family320.mp3
a----- 3921711 4-Aug-102 12:07 rainingmen.mp3
a----- 4701628 12-Jun-98 14:05 ray of light!s.mp3
a----- 7565596 8-Aug-98 16:32 relight my fire!s.mp3
a----- 3839791 14-Jun-104 11:22 republica-ready-to-go.mp3
a----- 4607597 29-May-106 14:07 riograndelingerie.mp3
a----- 1951161 1-Oct-102 09:14 rockstar.mp3
a----- 2515124 4-Oct-107 21:00 runnin.mp3
a----- 1213256 16-Aug-106 19:12 sam_adams.mp3
a----- 8606708 23-Jul-103 19:51 sample.wav
a----- 13500081 24-Jan-102 21:19 sat0124-1.mp3
a----- 6821093 24-Jan-102 21:18 sat0124-2.mp3
a----- 2510680 24-Jan-102 21:18 sat0124-3.mp3
a----- 6078090 11-Mar-103 01:53 sat0310-1.mp3
a----- 3134403 14-Mar-103 21:31 sat0314-1005.mp3
a----- 24214593 8-Apr-103 15:19 sat0328-1.mp3
a----- 19577336 12-Apr-103 08:35 sat04111700.mp3
a----- 8883850 30-May-103 12:05 sat04212231.mp3
a----- 19220816 30-May-103 12:03 sat05030803.mp3
a----- 2354492 30-May-103 12:02 sat05030830.mp3
a----- 9894057 30-May-103 12:02 sat05030845.mp3
a----- 9626981 30-May-103 12:02 sat0517.mp3
a----- 15258017 24-Jun-102 09:35 sat0527-1.mp3
a----- 13523069 24-Jun-102 09:34 sat0527-2.mp3
a----- 5256672 24-Jun-102 09:33 sat0601.mp3
a----- 8669437 1-Oct-102 09:18 sat0609.mp3
a----- 23804864 4-Aug-103 10:15 sat0622-2.mp3
a----- 19096136 4-Aug-103 08:42 sat0622-3.mp3
a----- 7633605 4-Aug-103 08:44 sat0622-4.mp3
a----- 9116106 4-Aug-103 08:43 sat0622-5.mp3
a----- 24820924 24-Jun-102 09:34 sat0622.mp3
a----- 3665630 4-Aug-102 11:08 sat0802-10.mp3
a----- 9121669 4-Aug-102 11:07 sat0802-11.mp3
a----- 10515563 4-Aug-102 11:08 sat0802-12.mp3
a----- 7306054 2-Aug-102 15:32 sat0802-2.mp3
a----- 15212588 2-Aug-102 15:32 sat0802-3.mp3
a----- 8577486 2-Aug-102 15:31 sat0802-4.mp3
a----- 6219778 2-Aug-102 15:31 sat0802-5.mp3
a----- 5376754 2-Aug-102 15:32 sat0802.mp3
a----- 15771399 8-Aug-102 18:50 sat0807-2.mp3
a----- 13593414 8-Aug-102 18:50 sat0807-3.mp3
a----- 21519174 8-Aug-102 18:51 sat0807.mp3
a----- 4025492 8-Aug-102 21:32 sat0808-1.mp3
a----- 2145512 8-Aug-102 18:49 sat0808-2.mp3
a----- 10252248 8-Aug-102 18:49 sat0808.mp3
a----- 19803452 9-Aug-102 18:29 sat0809-2.mp3
a----- 11518247 9-Aug-102 18:29 sat0809-3.mp3
a----- 4305107 9-Aug-102 18:39 sat0809.mp3
a----- 9527925 1-Oct-102 09:14 sat0916-1.mp3
a----- 4191004 1-Oct-102 09:14 sat0916-2.mp3
a----- 8208428 23-Nov-102 09:08 sat1014-1555.mp3
a----- 16329375 23-Nov-102 09:07 sat1102-1.mp3
a----- 13906883 23-Nov-102 09:07 sat1102-2.mp3
a----- 11083987 23-Nov-102 09:05 sat1115-2352.mp3
a----- 14581888 23-Nov-102 09:05 sat1120-1.mp3
a----- 31903370 24-Nov-102 10:41 sat1123.mp3
a----- 9356434 12-Feb-101 16:00 satfri-010112-0710.mp3
a----- 13352542 27-Jan-100 03:50 satfri01.mp3
a----- 14555010 10-Apr-100 04:13 satmon01.mp3
a----- 3227480 12-Feb-101 16:06 satsat010113-0457.mp3
a----- 11747578 12-Feb-101 15:58 satthu0125-0841.mp3
a----- 2383203 4-Feb-100 16:34 satthu272.mp3
a----- 1401417 4-Feb-100 16:34 satthu27I.mp3
a----- 15321547 10-Apr-100 04:10 satwed01-1.mp3
a----- 9045472 27-Jan-100 03:47 satwed01.mp3
a----- 8421877 27-Jan-100 03:45 satwed02.mp3
a----- 4673329 30-May-103 12:02 scream.mp3
a----- 51520924 16-May-103 16:11 scream.wav
a----- 4585558 10-Aug-102 06:41 scream128.mp3
a----- 6052176 4-Mar-105 23:21 screamQ.mp3
a----- 6052176 13-Aug-102 14:08 screamQ55.mp3
a----- 5666558 4-Jul-98 18:36 shake it the ground!s.mp3
a----- 3782530 5-Mar-102 09:16 shakedown.mp3
a----- 113969 13-Sep-104 17:37 shofar-ramhorn.mp3
a----- 4425605 4-Apr-109 14:02 shout.mp3
a----- 14152097 17-Feb-101 02:41 shout000216-1619.mp3
a----- 12808359 17-Feb-101 02:42 shout000216-1636.mp3
a----- 6897998 17-Feb-101 02:47 shout000216-1651.mp3
a----- 4877119 23-Aug-104 17:03 shoxlumania_russia[1].mov
a----- 2007412 7-Jun-98 05:03 smack dab in the middle!s.mp3
a----- 3372224 9-Sep-98 06:33 sometimes - erasure!s.mp3
a----- 3881972 8-Aug-98 16:38 soul makosa!s.mp3
a----- 7714444 1-Nov-98 01:34 spanish halloween!s.mp3
a----- 4614488 30-May-98 18:13 spank!s.mp3
a----- 3963805 23-Jul-104 21:56 spyvsspy.mp3
a----- 4201871 9-Aug-102 18:38 stars.mp3
a----- 1062898 28-Jul-98 03:46 still the one (country)!s.mp3
a----- 6182828 4-Jul-98 15:14 still the one.mp3
a----- 5621679 9-Aug-102 18:38 stories-1.mp3
a----- 968400 26-Nov-102 09:05 stories-1.wpk
a----- 5621679 9-Aug-102 14:50 stories.mp3
a----- 2612910 4-Mar-105 23:21 straykitty.mp3
a----- 10446724 4-Apr-109 06:11 styx - light up.mp3
a----- 5167842 4-Jul-98 14:56 sugar pie guy!s.mp3
a----- 4329639 28-Apr-104 00:01 sugarbabes round round.mp3
a----- 4097567 18-May-103 20:34 take-a-ride.mp3
a----- 623396 15-Dec-106 20:09 target.mp3
a----- 1201772 8-Nov-106 08:59 target2.mp3
a----- 1217432 19-Dec-106 19:41 target3.mp3
a----- 1218476 21-Dec-106 19:56 target4.mp3
a----- 1983744 9-Feb-109 14:43 tayla_burial_song.mp3
a----- 2760510 9-Sep-98 06:38 tears of a clown!s.mp3
a----- 2934468 29-Jul-98 07:36 the break!s.mp3
a----- 10320374 8-Aug-98 16:54 the mexican!s.mp3
a----- 3330124 15-Aug-98 15:46 the perfect beat!s.mp3
a----- 4388046 4-Mar-105 23:22 the5th.mp3
a----- 1202816 27-Jun-107 18:57 theIsle.mp3
a----- 12833436 5-Mar-102 09:15 theRace.mp3
a----- 1805582 23-Feb-106 16:43 there is a time.mp3
a----- 3745874 4-Mar-105 23:22 thinkn.mp3
a----- 1185068 18-Jul-107 18:44 this is the time.mp3
a----- 5200376 30-May-98 18:56 this time baby!s.mp3
a----- 2448708 1-Mar-103 12:18 thousand eyes.mp3
a----- 881475 28-Apr-104 00:02 tibet gospel mix - we are family.mp3
a----- 25992173 10-Aug-104 19:42 tiesto0626-2041.mp3
a----- 8239775 10-Aug-104 19:42 tiesto0626-2042.mp3
a----- 3080905 1-Mar-103 12:14 tightenup.mp3
a----- 8655934 22-Feb-105 01:46 times of our lives - paul van dyk.mp3
a----- 4890957 4-Aug-103 10:17 tosh.mp3
a----- 9406162 16-Mar-105 14:58 trancemix.mp3
a----- 10586689 16-Mar-105 14:58 trancemix2.mp3
a----- 9258610 4-Jul-98 18:15 troublemaker best disco.mp3
a----- 2176280 5-Sep-103 20:27 tv themes - Boston Public Theme.mp3
a----- 4794526 11-Apr-109 17:50 twist and shout.mp3
a----- 7025204 26-Aug-106 14:03 uptight.mp3
a----- 4642128 1-Mar-103 13:16 vegas-agnelli.mp3
a----- 2502596 1-Aug-107 17:57 viva viagra.mp3
a----- 2829314 4-Mar-105 23:22 voxxx.mp3
a----- 9140808 26-May-100 02:30 walking on sunshine - rockers revenge.mp3
a----- 3978144 9-Sep-98 06:44 was it worth it - petshop boys!s.mp3
a----- 6965125 4-Apr-109 08:07 way out west - activity.mp3
a----- 166124 23-Oct-106 20:08 what.mp3
a----- 6288323 9-Mar-103 18:24 white.mp3
a----- 2484806 30-May-104 13:15 worth.mp3
a----- 17371347 10-Aug-104 19:43 xtc0626-1948.mp3
a----- 7087461 10-Aug-104 19:43 xtc0626-2000.mp3
a----- 490549 20-Mar-106 17:32 yall-ready-for-this.m4a
a----- 2477244 27-Dec-100 01:31 you dont have to be.mp3
a----- 3492026 9-Sep-98 06:50 you make me feel!s.mp3
a----- 5968488 29-Jul-98 03:41 you wont forget me!s.mp3
a----- 3023214 29-Jul-98 07:41 your love!s.mp3
a----- 1118252 23-Jul-106 09:56 zurich.mp3
a----- 2605906 27-Jul-99 09:38 zzzDISCO-KTU - join hands.mp3

the new MindVox logo

a really cool logo.   i wonder if my friend voidmstr did it.

a twitter a twatter, everybody twit tatt

16 times i had to tab to get to this box.  is anybody listening over there?  yea you, google.  it's such an easy task i find it difficult that i'm unable to get it changed.  the title box should get the focus, and one tab over to the text box area.  ONE tab.  put those other commands after the text box.

please.

so now, where do we go.  where do you wanna go?  i spoze i could wait and hear what you all areb saying elsewhere.  i found a new site to sit on.  i don't know if i should post the url for it or not.  i'll have to dig for it.  hold on.

oh hell with it.  i'm sure he wont mind, willya.

1=2 - something in my cardfile

16 times on the tab key.  hey man, yer wearin me out here.

anyway, found this in my cardfile.  i don't know algebra enough to know whether it's a hoax or not, hopefully i'll get to know what it is if you'll email me your suggestion.  i'm always up for some email from someone who's been here.

x=y;x^2-y^2=(x-y)(x+y);x^2-xy=(x-y)(x+y);x(x-y)=(x-y)(x+y);x=x+y;x=2x;1=2 

did that make any sense at all?

on the mac

well, i'm sitting here on the mac looking at my blog, and wondering .... did i really write all that? heh.

i'm also on irc (efnet #mindvox & #interport.

and you can use twitter to find out what i'm doing on an hourly basis.  i don't update hourly, only that it's possible to update even by the minute.  hell if i kept records by the minute, i'd be wasting a lot of ink.  but i do update myself (when i'm online).

the weather is sure cooperating.  we have a forecast of 53 degrees.  it's 30 now, but the sun is sure bright and there's not a cloud in the sky.  i should get up and go out and enjoy the weather, but i'll wait and see what linda's going to do today.  i think i'll go over there and make sure she's getting hooked up right.  i wonder if i couldn't pick up a cable converter box out there on hwy 122.  it's sure a nice day for a drive.

well, i haven't given much thought to suicide lately.  maybe because it's that i have gained 10 lbs in just the last 3 weeks.  i wonder what i'll be like in another month.  171 is what i weighed in on tuesday when i saw johnson.  171.  that's a far cry from 152.  so maybe taking my meds could be doing it.  who knows.  i'm sure i'll hear it's just a coincidence from the vacation crowed, and an i told you so from the compliance bobbycops.  i don't know what to think.  i'll wait another month before i make up my mind.

my cat Diva gets up every morning and goes into her room and get up on the table where i have an old coat that she lays on and falls back to sleep in front of the sun.  i'm glad she sheds on that thing than having her shed all over the place.  but Diva is sure one helluva cat.  i love her more than i love any else in this world.  i doubt that there's many people who would take her upon my death, other than linda.  diva's kind of accepting her (when she comes over, Diva lets her pet her.  her her everywhere her her.  where are the his his'?  heh.

but my experience on the mac is limited.  so it's always a pleasure getting on it and foolin around.  i wish i had my synths hooked up.  i'd make music, or add some tracks.  but it's a hassle getting all that together and operational, where they all see each other.  i cant get the mac to see the network drives on my network.  but that's all heading toward another post i'll do on a different site.  suffice it to say, i love my mac.  i don't see getting it in laptop flavor tho.  i'd wanna make use of both my 19" monitors.  there's also another reason i like the mac.  i have the split keyboard hooked up to it.  microsoft sure knows how to build keyboards.  they've lasted me at least 5 years on the average.  i'll give up my simple keyboard to linda if she needs it.  she was going to call jake in to get it all together.  i wouldn't mind if he came.  i'd like to see him tackle the problem.  maybe i can get them both in the same room where we could all go to perkins or somewhere.  we just ate at applebee's in rochester.  i'm not inclined to go again.  but back to the subject at hand.  my experience on the mac.

or not.  switching subjects in the middle of a paragraph isn't something the 'purist' crowd. 

NOTE:  i'm adding the following after a period away from the mac and onto the laptop trying to get the camera to not capture because there's this hideous border on it, and i can't seem to get rid of it.  so anyway, consider the following as one made later in the day.

the alternate site

http://feeds2.feedburner.com/FieldsOfPoopy for a different look on what i write.

my comments re: the new "gui"

it took 13 times hitting the tab key to get into this text box.  

that's unacceptable.

i do nOt like the new gui, gui?  wait, that's no gui.

i wonder if an uprisimg from the bloggers has started.

if not, i'd be happy to start one.

i'm finding it harder and harder to come up with topics of interest.  i spoze the ending should be one of personal gain from the articles.  i have not made a penny, or more, doing this.  it has been a venture i alone have participated in.  what else.

oh yeah, the usual disclaimer when i'm not the agent involved.

then, there's this.  Look out over the crowd, and find that one face that can make you smile.  find him, and smile.  your fans would understand.  not sure about the non-speaking crowd will do.

i suppose i could just sit back and watch the road show.  cuz it's sure one hell of a show when you come across some real handbangers.  even as rare as that has been, it's easier to pull a story over your friends, or those who say they're your friends, than it is to tell them the real story.  the truth is hard to swallow in some cases.  and it's precisely those cases that make life so worthy of a try.

but i feel a long life is about to come to a close.  i can see the light at the end of the tunnel shall we say.  i'm not sure it's where i'm going in the future, but it's there now for me to see and wonder about.  i first saw a five and a one in certain shapes and sizes that one week, and it became clear that they were part of my going away present, shall we say.  a one and a five.  well, after a month or two, that disentegrated into the feeling that i knew it was going to be december 15th.  then it was jan 5.  then it was, well, i think at this point, we realize what we're dealing with, and hold off on making any predictions.

that said, i'm closing out for now because i've got some thinking to do before i write again.  ciao.

My Diagnoses

DRG Coding for my diagnoses:

305.21 - cannibus abuse

781.2 - Abnormality Of Gait; (Gait: ataxic, paralytic, spastic, staggering)

426.11 - First Degree Atrioventricular Block Incomplete atrioventricular block, first degree; 

Prolonged P-R interval NOS

070.54 - Chronic hepatitis C without mention of hepatic coma

293.0 - Delirium Due To Conditions Classified Elsewhere;  Acute: confusional state, infective psychosis, organic reaction, posttraumatic organic psychosis, psycho-organic syndrome; Acute 

psychosis associated with endocrine, metabolic, or cerebrovascular disorder; Epileptic: confusional state, twilight state

780.93 - Memory lossAmnesia (retrograde); Memory loss NOS

585.9 - Chronic kidney disease

272.4 - Other And Unspecified Hyperlipidemia

Alpha-lipoproteinemia; Combined hyperlipidemia; Hyperlipidemia NOS; Hyperlipoproteinemia NOS

and of course, 642 - HIV.

wow huh.  thanks to http://66.17.18.112/flashcode/userRegister.do for giving me the DRG codes.

actually it was mayo who came up with the codes.  it was the website above that gave me the meaning of the codes.  i used to have a DRG book on my desk at work when i worked at staff builders/medicare unit.  anyway, the cost of having such a complicated health life is over $30,000 (and i'm sure i haven't received all of the bills yet) for that week, well 4 days in the hospital.

something's gotta change.

David's music

born2be.mp3

csi.mp3 (only the the mix is mine, although i could play right along with it)

everydance4.mp3

gimmesumm.mp3

letthebeat2.mp3

listentothepeople.mp3

movement3.mp3

my_newmail.mp3

straykitty.mp3

the5th.mp3

thinkn.mp3

and then my favorite interpretation of a song i wrote in 1974:

tayla_burial_song.mp3

i just wanted to post these songs.  enjoy them.

just got home from rochester, mayo clinic.  things went well, as expected.  only saw the doctor for about 10 minutes.  drove 184 miles to do that.  and i didn't learn anything new.  i know i need to get results from my tests faxed down here.  i'll call tomorrrow and have them do it.

gonna smoke a pipe.  i'll be right back.

well, don't this feel nice.  i love this pot i got.  a pinch will do ya.  really.  4 tokes out of this shit and i'm buzzed.  almost high, but able to work and conduct business like driving.  i wouldn't do it myself since i cant see at night.  anyway, theresa my sister would never let me drive her van.  why i have no idea.  but during the day would be the only time i could do it.  anyway, what was i saying.

oh yeah, healthcare.  jee, that's a load of comment.  the bottom line is that the heathcare system we have now would work with just a few adjustments.  they've got the right idea, they're just not going about it the right way.  and they=mercyexecs.  i should have a letter written to him.  tell him about mercy home care, and the wonderful relationship i used to have with them.  then this whole suicide thing got in the way.  they asked me about it, expecting me to stop posting.  well, sorry, but if i wanna post, i'm gonna post.  i will not be coerced into doing anything that someone else is wanting.  there's just a few people on this earth that are capable of bossing me around.  really.  that's not dillusional, nor is it truthful in it's disclaimer.  but there are other, more important things, left to change.

1.  make paper a thing of the past.  you're on the tip of going completely paperless.  that's nearly a million right there.  

2.  make the 24 hr 422-7777, the healthline, a person with full  access to patient records.  then they'll not waste time by asking the trivial stuff.  i use healthline a lot, and i would expect their computers being capable of doing visual conversation, via webcam, and it'l cut your travel expenses by almost 50%.

3.  there should be a 3rd item, but i cant think of what it would be.  ok.  i hear ya. more tits.  ok.  so where shall we go?

4.  oh ya.  chicago.  it's a 800 mile trip.  but well worth it.  i'm sure the scene has changed over the years.  i used to live there.  3 times i did apartments.  2z going with a 'friend'.  he had every-thing a man could want.  and then some.  let's just say a really handsome gent.

%2010%

that's how i time myself.  from one to another %% pair.

in the continuum

did you realize that it took 7 tabs before i landed in this text box.  please make it the 2nd.  thank you for listening, google.

finally done with the mess of last week

well, i'm feeling better.  was able to get laundry done.  at least one load.  then got all the paperwork for tomorrow's visit to mayo clinic.  i wonder what is autonomic reflex screen is about.  oh well.  i could google it.   well, after reading some off the hits on autonomic reflex screen, i only came across hits that used big fancy words, like Pathophysiology and Pandysautonomia.  anyway, i'm not going to google every big word on these health sites. i think i got a good idea of what they're testing me for.  anyway, that's for tomorrow.  what i'm doing today is another story.

i got a load of laundry in the dryer, and once that comes out, i'll do something else.  i was able to get down meds today, so i think the time for throwing up has passed, and i'll be fine from here on out.  i would like to thank everybody for their letters of concern.  it was heartwarming to know there are people out there that genuinely care about me, and to those, i thank you.

after spending like 4 days in the hospital in rochester minnesota (part of the mayo clinic).  what caused me to enter the hospital was a loss of gait and motor control.  in fact i lost it completely, both gait and speech.  it was as if i had a seizure.  i was on my way to my regularly scheduled appointment with my physician, i jus lost it at perkins restaurant, where we always eat before seeing the doctor.  i lost it there.  had to have my girlfriend cut my waffle.  totally lost it.  got to mayo, and my doctor's office and he jus sent me over to st. mary's hospital across the street.  where they admitted me immediately.

so i get into the hospital and they start running all these tests.  and i don't remember much of what happened over the next 4 days.  they did a lumbar puncture and i remember arguing with them about the need to do the procedure.  a spinal tap.  they're not a very comfortable test.  and i've got bruises on my stomach all around my belly button.  here you can see for yourself.

anyway, i have scars on my back and left arm.  so, you can get the idea of where i was at all week last week.  anyway, so i get out on the 15th, and end up back in the ER on the 16th because i was unable to keep any food or meds down.  so spending 8 hours in the ER right before st. paddy's day was the highlight of my week.  but i'm doing better today.  was able to keep down whatever i ate, my problem was getting the amount of food in me to qualm my hunger pains.  but at least i was able to keep what i ate down (had shrimp basket & key lime pie for breakfast/lunch).  i'm hoping that i'll be able to eat a decent meal in the next day or two.

so i've got a doctor's appointment with my family doctor tomorrow.  hopefully he'll have good words for me.  i'm going to complain  about a cracked rib which i got while i was in rochester.  why they weren't able to take care of it before discharging me.  not a word mentioned about it in my discharge summary.  oh well.  i didn't really feel like i got the best treatment up there.  those bruises make me look like a drug addict.  trust me, i had bruises like this before on both of my arms.  it's just that i've laid off the drugs since jan. 2005.  plus they weren't giving me the drugs the way i wanted them to.  and now i'm suffering from major constipation.  caused by the huge amounts of methadone.  150 mg, 3 times a day.  and for that i usually keep the pipes in shape with 3 pills of a stool softener.  i'm sure this is getting into the TMI territory.

so i'll close out with a wish for a happy st. paddy's day, and hope you enjoyed your day.  g'day.

i'ts 2121 anbd i feek kuje iu have a cracjed ribb.  i hurt to high heaven.  smoked the rest of the joint that i started earlier today.  tried to eat chkn noodle soup, and didnt get much down.  vomited up what i tried.  called around to find out who knew what happend this past week, and couldnt get a ripe version from anybody.  neither theresa, nor linda, could give me a synopsis for this week. all i know is i hurt in everypart of my body.  3 loads of pain meds didnt' help.  i'll take another roune before i go to bed.

11:49 CDT and i'm can't sleep

well, after checking all my mail, mail that i really didn't need to read, i thought i'd post and update.

i'm still in Mayo's St. Mary's Hospital, almost ready to be released. it's been a trip, which is putting it lightly. what got me here you say? well, being drunk as a skunk without a drop of alcohol. i could barely walk when we got here for my regular doctor's appointment. it was like someone put a spell on me, and hit me with a slinger. could not walk, i could talk and was coherent, but i just could not walk. so they admitted me.

so after a gazillion tests, they find out there's nothing wrong with me, except my underlying problem that brought me here. oh fudge. nothing to diagnose. at least it's giving me a glimpse into the operations of an emergency room at this hospital.

Mayo has been nice to me tho. not a thread of unjust treatment. they've all been professional and courteous. but nothing takes the place of my home. and i've got diva to think about. she's probably missing me more than i'm missing her. well, not quite as much, because i miss her like hell. since monday night, i've been pampered and treated with a royal touch. Mayo, afterall, attracts dignataries and heads of state. it's a top noch hospital/clinic.

so my life has pretty much been put on hold for a bit. all because of my inability to walk from the parking garage. they asked about drugs, and tested me for them all, but they only got a pot hit on me, to which i admitted that i smoked a bit the morning i left for rochester. but at least i'm able to get online with the find folks at efnet. (http://chat.efnet.org).

so after a gazillion tests, they are unable to find out why this happened. like, they can't tell me for sure what happened that caused me to lose control of my legs. they were able to discount almost every disease in the book. which makes me happy that they couldn't diagnose the situation with any certainty.

so i'm sitting here at 23:30 CDT, drinking coffee after being woke up to take a pill, i just couldn't return to sleep. maybe this was all supposed to happen. giving it a trial run. we'll see. so, until later.

11:40 CDT. amd o cam

i'm in Rochester's Mayo Clinic

and i'm really tired of being away from diva. i got up here on monday, for some stupid reason, i lost control of my legs and couldn't walk from the parking lot to the doctor's office. so i had a wheel my way in. went to my doctor's office, and in the meantime, i get hooked up with emergency services, who directed us elsewhere. so they put me in a private room, and told me to relax and enjoy myself.

so i stayed the nite thinking i would be able to go home tomorrow, but nope, that is not what these doctors had in mind. they continued to test me and test me, but found nothing. my symptoms had died off and i can control my legs now. making me just like everybody else. but no, these doctors are infatuated at geting to the bottom of things. why that happend couldn't be answered.

dau 3. i'm more tha ready to go home. theyu still cant figure out what happened. so what, is what i say. lets just move on. what do you think?

12 hour screwup

i awoke this morning finding not just one computer, or two computers, but both laptops AND the mac were reporting time that was 12 hours behind the real time.  the mac was getting fed the time from Apple Americas/U.S. (time.apple.com).  i dont know what the fuck is going on, certainly my laptops dont use time.apple.  they use some observatory out in colorado, i think.  anyway, all my logs are wrong.  oh well.  i'm goin to rochester today to the mayo clinic.  that outta be fun.  so until i get back, hang loose.

took an iq test by some swindlers over at facebook.  here's the results of that test:

8 questions out of 10 correct

Congrats! Your smarts are officially off the charts! By achieving the absolute highest score possible, you've earned the opportunity to mingle with other IQ pros, just like you! You should be honnored that there is an elite group of geniuses anxious to get to know you. Do you want to chat with them?

and therein lies the catch.  i didn't chat with any geniuses, because i'm already chatting with geniuses on #mindvox.

just think of what would happen should obama come clean about the government's involvement with aliens.  that's right, those little grey sexless beings we all imagine them to be.  how far off are we?  i'll be that'll be a question that'll get turned down at the FOIA desk.  

i predict that we have been contacted by alien beings, if not a conversation with, at least there was discovery of their physical presence on earth in some form.  given the fact that there are billions (billions is a thousand million.  that's 11 zeros!  but given that we have heard enough 'billion' talk lately that it's lost it's lustre.  trillion is the new billion.  what's after trillion?  that'd be something like quadrillion.  it's the one after THAT one that is a mystery.  i think i heard a zeno or xenillion somewhere years ago.  either way, it's a lot of zeros, and it still wouldn't be able to add up how many planets are in our universe.

how fast is warp speed?  would that be the speed of light x ?  i should research that on the internet and see what i come up with.  i'll bet it'll give me new illion words.

the David Pictures

my 2nd post with a link in it.  this is for future reference only.  i'm not trying to beef up the stats by any means.

http://www.farpoint.org/gallery/

passing throughts

i'm feeling uncomfortable because my right lens is bothering me.  got it all foggy and screened-like and it's uncomfortable enough to make me go take it out.  which is what i'm going to do.

oohh, so much better.  (10 minutes later).  caught a cat coming in from the outside thru the pet door, and it was a cat that i aint seen before.  a blonde.  probably about a year old.  diva didn't like him/her.  i think i'm gona say they're male cats unless i have specific evident to the contrary.  and unless i pick one up and look underside, i'm gonna have to to rely on good ol' instinct.

i don't mind the cats coming in from the cold.  it's not cold out, 39 degrees isn't freezing weather.  i'm sure it's probably hungry and wanted to eat.  i'll let it eat if it comes back.  diva's sitting in the window right outside the doorway.  she should be able to see inside there good enug to let me know if that blonde comes back.  there's still food in the dishes.  i fill up 2 bowls in the morning, and that should last them until the next morning.  usually does.  between mommy, kitty and buster, they go through about 7lbs a week.  i'm jus glad they're eating that no-brand kind.

btw, i jus updated her site:  http://diva.farpoint.org.

advertisement theme songs included

i've made a playlist that i thought you might enjoy.  it's got a bunch of songs, themed for advertising, and other old shows' themes.

http://www.farpoint.org/commercials/list.htm

the burial song from stargate that i want played for my wake/funeral/service.  http://www.farpoint.org/tayla_burial_song.mp3.  taka listen and judge for yourself.

something that really bites my butt

and that is windows acting up, and you can't do a damn thing about it.  such is the case right now.  i can't seem to start up nero's backup program.  it acts like it's starting up, but it poops out right before it starts up.  iow, i dont see any additional windows on my desktop.  so, i try to run task manager (right click on the tray), but that will only run minimized, and clicking on it has no effect - it doesn't bring forth the task manager window.  so i can't quit out of that.  i'm afraid to do anything else to my system.  i might have to jus wipe the disk clean and reiunstall from the very beginning with the install cds that i got when i got the machine.  it's a lot of work re-establishing a /home, but sometimes is something that can't be helped.

so wish me luck.  i think i'll do this tomorrow tho.  it's getting a bit late for doing it tonite.  plus, i got up really early today, so i'm kinda tired.

Q.O.D.

"I work for the American people, and I'm determined to bring the change that the people voted for last November. And that means cutting what we don't need, to pay for what we do."

-- President Barack Obama

http://www.abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=6968591&page=1

s'bout time.

i'm watching spader oin boston legal.  if you twit, you would know that already.  right?  anyway, i'm wondering if james spader wrote his last diatribe.  the episode is titledguantanamo by the Bay (2007).  it's 00:21, which given the fact that it started at 11:35, that's like 46 minutes into the show.  as far as i'm calculating it.

i'm also wondering on this thing with tomwhore.  a friend on #mindvox, who i'm tapping to carry on with the stats (#mindvox at least).  and i've enlisted the assistance of slowdog, or as he like to call himself now, emopinata.  i have to find out what that is.  but i'd like to know whether or not tom was approached, and what if anything did he have to say.  i'm like really curious.  do i need to do something else to win his favor?  like what would be the deal maker?

obamicon

http://obamiconme.pastemagazine.com/entries/845835

leq

this is my obamicon for the year.  get your very own personal portrait and have it obamiconized at the address above.

ok, the post is over.  i jus needed to know the length between the last line, and this line.

twitter, and how people twit

do you twitter?  i just learned about twitter this past week, and frankly, i don't get it, other than to say you can put down in 140 or less words what you're doing at that time.  since you're not working on the computer - do you twit when you do? - would you be able to answer that one small question:  what are you doing now?

twitter isn't really complex either.  i like complex.  some people don't.  they have this affinity to tell people what they're doing.  i'm more private than twitter.  i've twit'd a couple of days right after discovering it.  maybe i should give it more time.  but it jus didn't fill that niché.  i hope that character comes out.  one nice reason to have charmap.  i like to get things right.

i've got some thinking to do, and it's about a lot of things.  and taken individually, they don't seem so frightening.  taken whole tho, now that's a different story.  and not one that can be laid out on twitter.  blogger has more my style of society.   i think people who do a lot of different things could use twitter better than i.  people who interact with the public are more apt to understand things more thoroughly.  dealing with people takes a real hard skin, among other things. understanding them takes even a stronger soul.  so we have hard skin people with strong souls.  there's all kinds of people in this world, but they all have things in common.  in fact, the things that bind us are many and true.  

wow.  that came out of nowhere.  strange it is.  since i don't get out into the public much to really know them - whoever them is - it's strange that i would know so much as to write about it.  i'm making these observations from years past, and my place in society.  i've had all i could take years ago.  i think that's the real reason i moved.  i couldn't  keep up with them - i know that.  and it took a good game to get as far as i did.  but they're all memories now.  fond memories.

so i'll close out with this.  looking around yourself, take a look into society's soul.  whaddya see?

well, i just read the previous post, and i don't know what i was smoking, but today, i'm back in the same seat i've been sitting in for the last 3 months.  the pain came back in a big way.  and flashes of swallowing those pills kept going thru my mind.  i could actually feel what it would feel like.  almost to the point of *shiver*.

but i'm definitely back on the train i was riding last week.  going nowhere fast.  except i'm not going fast.  i'm sure i'm toning things down by half.  where it took 5 seconds to do something, now takes 10.  i used to be able to make the pain subside to a point where it didn't bother me so much.  it's harder to do that any more.  i'm all done with the kindbud.  there's no more of the good stuff.  another reason i'm back on track.  not really.

one and five still are playing a prominent role in this whole thing.  i'm unable to pin down exactly what it means.  either a 15 or 51.  but there's a 5 and there's a 1 out there.  and i can't for the life of me feel comfortable calling it either way.  when it does make itself known, i'll be sure to make a post about it.

i think i've got a checklist of things that i want done when my body is discovered.  i should get that printed out with the corrections i had on it.  since i've got the mac up and running.  i don't run the mac all the time any more.  it uses up a lot of energy.  but that's not why it's not running.  it's got a cold of sort.  i can't restart it.  once it's running, shutting it off would make the computer unusable for hours.  there's 2 red led  lights that light up in back of the on/off switch.  but why would that be of concern for you huh.

i recently doubled the ram in the vista laptop.  things run without giving me 'short on memory' dlg boxes.  i needed something more than 2 gig.  there's 4 in there now, and we're fine.   i wish i could get a straight answer from microsoft regarding why i can't see the laptop from the xbox.  i can see the xbox in vista, but it can't see me to connect.  i need to be running media center tho, i think.  i wonder if that's an option on the startup menu.

anyway, with all these toys you gotta wonder how a guy could be bored.  it's not that hard to tell you the truth.  one can easily get bored living in a 12x8 room.  my kitchen is twice the size of the living room.  i'll have to dig uip some photos of it getting painted.  

well, it's saturday afternoon, early evening.  i've got scifi rollin on the boobtube.  i shouldn't call my big brand new tv a boob.  there are no 'tubes' in these babies.  i got my 32" lcd out at best buy, the cheapest 32" they had.  a dynex.  and i tell ya, it's definitely worth every penny.  fantastic color control, and it has all the bells and whistles the others had.  no pip tho.  oh well. 

but that's what i'm doing today.  and working on the computer some.  getting moneybooks all in order and reconciled.  i've been pretty good at getting things, keeping things, up to date.  and my moneybooks are one of those things that give that special, oh so spEHshal, attention.  my money has to be right or i'll go nuts trying to keep it all in my head.  the way i used to.  but any more i have to have it on paper.  well, in ascii format.  and i reconcile at least once a week, if not twice and once in a while thrice.  yes, that's indeed a valid word.  

i've sat and thought about doing the deed, and what have you.  i almost have to do that as a last resort.  and so far, it hasn't been necessary to go there.  funny how that works.  do what i always did do, and just now is it becoming conducive to my life.  i'll still 'feel' it sitting on the couch, or setanding over the stove.  but the dwelling is short-lived.

but i'm sitting here now, and thinking about suicide, well, it just doesn't have the zing it used to.  maybe it's just how i'm feeling today.  but it's been this way for a few days now.  i think it's something karmic.  i guess we'll just have to wait and see where this leads us.  who knows maybe the whole shit and kibane will just have been a flash in the pan.  wouldn't that rock.

so we'll see tomorrow where we sit.  it'll be sunday and the talk shows are on.  that'll give me some perspective.  who knows, maybe it'll wipe the slate clean and we'll start over.  who knows.

well, something happened today that weighed in real heavy on my mind.  it was something most people would have probably celebrated with a party or something.  i don't like big parties unless they're dancing.  the parade on my birthday (yes, the anniversary of stonewall happened on my 13th birthday, in 1969) is something that i have done for many years.  of course being away from the city has only fond memories of what happened in new york.  i've been lucky enough to return to the city twice since i've been here.  both times i wish i could have left new york for home like 3 days into the trip.  it was just too overwhelming.

even thinking about it.  and the good news i got today.  both should serve to let me enjoy the moment.  but, there's just one tiny thing that's been on my mind lately.  and i'm having all these 'gee, aint life wonderful' moments that it's kinda hard to make a choice.  between enjoying my new situations and sacrificing whatever comes before me. for that 'sure' thing.  that would be suicide by my own hand.  i guess that's pretty direct.  i'm losing train of thought. i'm being distracted by the television, and this mouse won't really work right.  i've got an external mouse on usb.  i wish i knew where the hdmi port is, and whether or not i can find the box with the cables in it.  i'm only assuming that there's a box in diva's room, and that any peripherals i got with it.

but i'm definitely having another lease on life it seems.  i'm ony hoping that it'll be more on my side, but we'll see.  i checked off one item already today.  so i'm good for the rest of the year.  whiuch is only right.  

well, i could go and call mercy's health line.  but why?  i don't wanna change anything.  so until next time.  i'm not going to call mercy either.  whatever possessed me to say that  i dont know.  but it's definitely not something i wanna do.  more on that later.

suffice it to say.  i'd like to have a hot guy and a short la bamba.  get my drift?  and i swear it's not sexual.  i've been celebate for a good 4 years now.  this is my 4th year.  january of 2005.  i think master diary will have something in it.

OBAMA has the Q

watching the presidential press conference.  and i had a vision of the Q while watching president obama's face.  this guy could sell icicles in alaska.  but he's got the Q.  and i didn't need to see his face to know that.

what i want played at my funeral

http://www.farpoint.org/tayla_burial_song.mp3

it's a song sung by rachel luttrell in an epsiode of stargate atlantis.  she sings it at the site of her friend's death.  the original song was longer than what this mp3 is, but my guess is that they didn't get much without talkover.  i would have liked to have had the talkover if it were to get the whole song.  but it reminds me of a song i wrote years ago.  anyway, take a listen to it and see if you don't agree that it's a good song.

it's saturday night, and i'm in no mood to do anything.  go out, stay home, actually, go where?  i aint been out in months.  years actually.  ya, it's been 2005 january...  dad's funeral.  how could i forget.  the day David went dry.  but i'm really almost bored with my life.  and it's boring to many persons i'm sure.

but the thought of doing the deed has been pervasive all week.  i should have written something about those feelings.  but i didn't.  i'll try and remember them.  i do remember having the lost feeling.  not realizing where i was at.  getting lost in your own home has got to be a sign of some sort of neuroses, no?  it's not like i'm trying to be out of the house at all, i just get to a point where i can't remember where the kitchen is when i'm in the bedroom.  anybody that's been in my house knows how rediculous that would be.

regardless what night it is.  i feel like weird and i can't put my finger on why.  i'm not tired.  and i'm fully awake and alert.  diva's right here pawing at me.  she got her yogurt today so it cant be that.  i think she just likes to make me get up and go chase her in the kitchen while she climbs up into the sink.  she likes to lick the faucet, and once in a while i'll turn it on very gently and she'll stick her tongue out into the stream of water coming from the faucet.  i don't mind it much.  she's not a shedder, so i dont have cathair all over.  she'll shed when the seasons change, and even then, not as much as you'd think.  i feed her strictly eukanuba.

but i know my time is short.  shorter every day to tell ya the truth.  getting old does that to the brain i hear.  i'm having memory issues with 2gig memory.  and i'm at the start of the red zone.  i can't go any higher in this laptop.  kinda sucks.  are there 2gig chips?  ah, i'm told they do.

the origin of Q

http://www.farpoint.org/theQ.jpg

those are diaries from 1986. skipping a year or two in between. but these are the original Qbooks. here's some excerpts http://hitchhikerstory.blogspot.com/.

they cover the years 1986, 1987, 1988, 1990, 1992, 1994 (telephone logs), 1995 (telephone logs), 1996 (telephone logs). then i have the years 2000 forward in organizer (that's version 2.4) format and are here: http://krak.farpoint.org/MASTER_DIARY.htm.

i think the master was missing year 2003.   ...must be a year that i  forgot.

i dont have data on years 1995-1999. it's like those years are something that i couldn't find anywhere. in soft format (and believe me, i've looked at a million cds), or hard copy. i do have calendars for years 2005 to 2008. which i was going to transcribe into soft format last year but forgot about it after putting the calendar away. 

taken in total, the sum of these parts, paints a portrait of .... well, you'll come away wondering how the hell i lived so long.

mad world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4

one of my all time favorites.  can't get it out of my head after hearing it on las vegas.

happy superbowl day

happy superbowl day, for those of you in the U.S.  it's the biggest game of the year.  and i'm going out on the limb for this, but i would like to see the cardinals take it.  if even for all the underdog comments i've heard.  i jus hope they win.  by 7.   i promise i wont cheat.

and it's humpday today

i've been sitting back and wondering what to post next, and nothing came to my head.  even now, nothing's in my head to get off with a post to poopy.  so i'll just blatter on.  betcha had to look that up. i did.  and there's such a word, and it even belongs in the sentence.  interesting.  some would contend that to be a sign of sorts.  what that would be is beyond me.  everything's a sign if ya think about it.  i don't believe that i have the power to change the future.  i might think i'm treading away at something that would be good for me down the road.  but really, because it happen, it was supposed to happen.

but really, i don't know what i wanna post on that hasn't been covererd in some manner in these writings.  as wild and ill-built they are, it seems to hit a nerve in most everybody.  and that's a good thing in my head.  i like things that poke me.  i'm not all that enthused about feeling *shiver*.  that takes a lot of doing.  but suffice it to say, these writings are nothing but bullshit.  about bullshit.

really. 

i'm finding another cause for concern.  the ritual before the deed?  during the deed?  shouldn't i do something like say a prayer or anything?  like really.  i mean, there's probably a right way of doing this, and i'm not one of 'em.  i dont know how many other suicides are up on the web with a candor you'll find in these writings.   musings as a friend of mine would say.

but something's been on my mind today.  and that's the things that i'll do to get into the mood, so to speak.  cuz i dont think i've got it in me to go through the steps of taking the pills then doing what?  continue to do what i normally would.  so in essence i'll be on irc on my dying bed.  i'll sit up until i cant sit any more. this would best be carried out right before going to bed.  i would naturally wanna fall asleep.  i doubt there'd be more than an hour that i would have to fill the time with.  get all the documents up on the computer screens.

i'm hoping that whoever discovers the body will read the notes i'm leaving on the desk and in the bedroom.  actually, i can skip the bedroom.  there'll be no need for them to do anything in there.  i'll have to disclose where i put the money.  tinbox on the dresser would be a good spot.  i've got about 5400.  4750 in one envelope, and about 700 in the other envelope.  that's about 6 grand.  plus lthe money in teh nbank.  another grand.  so that's about 7 grand.  i need to get tim lapointe paid off and have some casheir's checks i want mailed.  i'll give each voidmstr, krak and netrunnr $500 to enjoy in my absense a drink in a voxmeet.  and krak will be getting his because he's hosting farpoint.org for the next 6 years.  so i'll remain in cyberspace while my body floats the mississippi. well, winnebago, THEN the mississippi.

anyway, i'll get a plan together before long, and will indicate it in another post.

it's saturday night.  i'll bet a lot of  you had a good time going out.  i hope you're able to afford to go out.  i'm sure there's a lot of those who choose to go out. that stayed indoors and get on the internet.  it's cold out there anyway.  and i've got a bottle of vodka - belvedere.   there's also a wiki of it too.    i've always maintained that you know when your time has finally arrived.  ...  when you have a wiki.  i guess the same can be said of their treatment of vodka. 

ya know what i joined recently?  a thing called twitter.  everybody's now doing the twitter.  frankly, i think it's just another fad that people will get off on telling everybody that they're on.  anyway, twitter is supposed to do all these wonderful things, with your friends.  well, what do you do when you have no friends?  seriously.  not people that you can get online with and chat up a storm with, and that sorta thing?  i have maybe 2 people that i can call friends and i know i'll have him/her over here in no time.  especially if it was an emergency.  so i'm rewarding them with executor of my estate.  i cant take it with me, so i might as well make the most of it going into her hands.  it has been on my mind a lot more recently than normal.  questioning whether i'm doing the right thing.  instead of giving it to theresa.  which i'm expecting her to wanna be written off with the IOU she has with me.  that's fine.  but i cant give anything to her.  i'm sure she'll understand. 

 oh ya, it's been on my mind a lot lately.  i think i know the time is coming when i cant stall any longer.  it's gotta be something that i cant back down from once the process has started.   so i gotta be comfortable from step 1.  hopefully i'm gonna be able to lay down and go to sleep normally, but something tells me that aint what this is about.  i'm sure every second ios going to count. probably loudly.  i dunno.  i'm only guessin at how this is going to go down.  i gotta wonder also whether planning this to the letter is going to benefit only the survivors.  they won't have to question what to do with whatever is around here.  i've left a list on the table-desk for them to follow so that the place will be ready for the new tenant when they leave.  i've paid up to the end of the month.  there's a deposit on the place, only $275 tho.  that used to be the rent. 

anyway, ya, i'm gonna freek out unless i do it in here first, then i'll know what these feelings are because just the thought of some of this will give me the chills.  i'm only hoping that they are a good omen, and not a bad one.  but the process, ONce the process has started, i gotta be a stinker if i chose to ignore that fact, and treat me like i aint ben there before.  but once this process has started, i expect a full run through of the steps ending up with me in bed and 40 pills in my stomach, getting absorbed.  i'm hoping that sleep comes beforehand, so i should be sleeping away.  i'm hoping there's nothing on the painful side of things.  some might argue that i'm not seeing the whole picture.

that's right.  not seeing the whole picture.  i'm 6'2" tall, i can probably see more picture than the majority here.  but i see the picture i see.  fact.  i have to deal with that reality.  fact.  as long as we're communicating, i think we're good for understanding.  fact.  got any fact that i don't mention?  drop me a line.  i'm always up for more facts.  half the 'facts' i hear from people aren't really facts at all.  and when you point that out to whoever brought it forward in the beginning realize that there were issues with the points of contention with whatever started this whole thing.  make sure you state your facts and provide me with the sources.  i wanna see if i see the same thing you would see.  i think depending on the object of the sight.  right?

ok, i'm gonna close up soon here.  i've taken up way too much of your time for what.  nothing.  sorry jack, unless you're a really hot man looking for some luuuuuv.  ...  nah, i'm just not into it like i used to be.  and boy was i a whore.  if they wanted to pay me, wtf?  why would i say no to that.  that's rhetorical.  i wouldn't.  but i sure had fun.  i had fun fun fun.  my middle name was funn.  two n's.  i really only started using my real name when i came back to iowa in 1998.  and the time in this old house has been well spent on quite a number of party events over the years.  in the beginning i would bbq almost every night.  right out on the front porch.  i didn't care.

shit, i know i said i'd close up there.  i'll close this now with this thought - do something for someone else once.  you'll probably want to do it again.  but do it with the pure thought of doing something for someone else.  when you're incognito, it adds brownie points.

HAPPY OBAMA DAY!

did you see the inaugural program they had on every channel today?  i couldn't escape it, and felt drawn to it like a flame intices you.  i felt good to be an american once again.  makes the last 8 years worth it.  i jus hope he stays on course.  if congress will only worth with him, and there should be no reason for them not to, they'll find a young man with only the best intentions. all in all the pagentry held together and they were only about 3 minutes late.  so given the amount of people who attended the event, one would have to say today went off without a hitch.

just like it was supposed to.  maybe that's a sign of what is to come.  so happy obama day to ya.  now for the link.  http://www.kottke.org/09/01/the-countrys-new-robotstxt-file.