ya know what i joined recently? a thing called twitter. everybody's now doing the twitter. frankly, i think it's just another fad that people will get off on telling everybody that they're on. anyway, twitter is supposed to do all these wonderful things, with your friends. well, what do you do when you have no friends? seriously. not people that you can get online with and chat up a storm with, and that sorta thing? i have maybe 2 people that i can call friends and i know i'll have him/her over here in no time. especially if it was an emergency. so i'm rewarding them with executor of my estate. i cant take it with me, so i might as well make the most of it going into her hands. it has been on my mind a lot more recently than normal. questioning whether i'm doing the right thing. instead of giving it to theresa. which i'm expecting her to wanna be written off with the IOU she has with me. that's fine. but i cant give anything to her. i'm sure she'll understand.
oh ya, it's been on my mind a lot lately. i think i know the time is coming when i cant stall any longer. it's gotta be something that i cant back down from once the process has started. so i gotta be comfortable from step 1. hopefully i'm gonna be able to lay down and go to sleep normally, but something tells me that aint what this is about. i'm sure every second ios going to count. probably loudly. i dunno. i'm only guessin at how this is going to go down. i gotta wonder also whether planning this to the letter is going to benefit only the survivors. they won't have to question what to do with whatever is around here. i've left a list on the table-desk for them to follow so that the place will be ready for the new tenant when they leave. i've paid up to the end of the month. there's a deposit on the place, only $275 tho. that used to be the rent.
anyway, ya, i'm gonna freek out unless i do it in here first, then i'll know what these feelings are because just the thought of some of this will give me the chills. i'm only hoping that they are a good omen, and not a bad one. but the process, ONce the process has started, i gotta be a stinker if i chose to ignore that fact, and treat me like i aint ben there before. but once this process has started, i expect a full run through of the steps ending up with me in bed and 40 pills in my stomach, getting absorbed. i'm hoping that sleep comes beforehand, so i should be sleeping away. i'm hoping there's nothing on the painful side of things. some might argue that i'm not seeing the whole picture.
that's right. not seeing the whole picture. i'm 6'2" tall, i can probably see more picture than the majority here. but i see the picture i see. fact. i have to deal with that reality. fact. as long as we're communicating, i think we're good for understanding. fact. got any fact that i don't mention? drop me a line. i'm always up for more facts. half the 'facts' i hear from people aren't really facts at all. and when you point that out to whoever brought it forward in the beginning realize that there were issues with the points of contention with whatever started this whole thing. make sure you state your facts and provide me with the sources. i wanna see if i see the same thing you would see. i think depending on the object of the sight. right?
ok, i'm gonna close up soon here. i've taken up way too much of your time for what. nothing. sorry jack, unless you're a really hot man looking for some luuuuuv. ... nah, i'm just not into it like i used to be. and boy was i a whore. if they wanted to pay me, wtf? why would i say no to that. that's rhetorical. i wouldn't. but i sure had fun. i had fun fun fun. my middle name was funn. two n's. i really only started using my real name when i came back to iowa in 1998. and the time in this old house has been well spent on quite a number of party events over the years. in the beginning i would bbq almost every night. right out on the front porch. i didn't care.
shit, i know i said i'd close up there. i'll close this now with this thought - do something for someone else once. you'll probably want to do it again. but do it with the pure thought of doing something for someone else. when you're incognito, it adds brownie points.
