it's saturday night, and i'm in no mood to do anything.  go out, stay home, actually, go where?  i aint been out in months.  years actually.  ya, it's been 2005 january...  dad's funeral.  how could i forget.  the day David went dry.  but i'm really almost bored with my life.  and it's boring to many persons i'm sure.

but the thought of doing the deed has been pervasive all week.  i should have written something about those feelings.  but i didn't.  i'll try and remember them.  i do remember having the lost feeling.  not realizing where i was at.  getting lost in your own home has got to be a sign of some sort of neuroses, no?  it's not like i'm trying to be out of the house at all, i just get to a point where i can't remember where the kitchen is when i'm in the bedroom.  anybody that's been in my house knows how rediculous that would be.

regardless what night it is.  i feel like weird and i can't put my finger on why.  i'm not tired.  and i'm fully awake and alert.  diva's right here pawing at me.  she got her yogurt today so it cant be that.  i think she just likes to make me get up and go chase her in the kitchen while she climbs up into the sink.  she likes to lick the faucet, and once in a while i'll turn it on very gently and she'll stick her tongue out into the stream of water coming from the faucet.  i don't mind it much.  she's not a shedder, so i dont have cathair all over.  she'll shed when the seasons change, and even then, not as much as you'd think.  i feed her strictly eukanuba.

but i know my time is short.  shorter every day to tell ya the truth.  getting old does that to the brain i hear.  i'm having memory issues with 2gig memory.  and i'm at the start of the red zone.  i can't go any higher in this laptop.  kinda sucks.  are there 2gig chips?  ah, i'm told they do.