well, something happened today that weighed in real heavy on my mind.  it was something most people would have probably celebrated with a party or something.  i don't like big parties unless they're dancing.  the parade on my birthday (yes, the anniversary of stonewall happened on my 13th birthday, in 1969) is something that i have done for many years.  of course being away from the city has only fond memories of what happened in new york.  i've been lucky enough to return to the city twice since i've been here.  both times i wish i could have left new york for home like 3 days into the trip.  it was just too overwhelming.

even thinking about it.  and the good news i got today.  both should serve to let me enjoy the moment.  but, there's just one tiny thing that's been on my mind lately.  and i'm having all these 'gee, aint life wonderful' moments that it's kinda hard to make a choice.  between enjoying my new situations and sacrificing whatever comes before me. for that 'sure' thing.  that would be suicide by my own hand.  i guess that's pretty direct.  i'm losing train of thought. i'm being distracted by the television, and this mouse won't really work right.  i've got an external mouse on usb.  i wish i knew where the hdmi port is, and whether or not i can find the box with the cables in it.  i'm only assuming that there's a box in diva's room, and that any peripherals i got with it.

but i'm definitely having another lease on life it seems.  i'm ony hoping that it'll be more on my side, but we'll see.  i checked off one item already today.  so i'm good for the rest of the year.  whiuch is only right.  

well, i could go and call mercy's health line.  but why?  i don't wanna change anything.  so until next time.  i'm not going to call mercy either.  whatever possessed me to say that  i dont know.  but it's definitely not something i wanna do.  more on that later.

suffice it to say.  i'd like to have a hot guy and a short la bamba.  get my drift?  and i swear it's not sexual.  i've been celebate for a good 4 years now.  this is my 4th year.  january of 2005.  i think master diary will have something in it.