so far this week

remember when i almost got locked up last week?  well, in that event i agreed to see one of their therapists.  in behavioral services.  or the psych ward.  she was keen on believing me when i told her that this was all a misunderstanding.  it was.  and some.  since i only have one more doctor appointment, tomorrow, i don't have anything on the calendar until december 8th, when i go to mayo.  of course, i kept that to myself.  i hold my freedom as a precious commodity.

anyway, i'm in this lady's office and she's asking thousands of questions, it was like the only thing she didn't ask me was how big i was.  really.  talk about 20 questions.  this was like 60 questions.  everything under the sun it seemed was important.  and i understood, and was growing tired of the answers.  but she did pass along a nice link for me on the subject of death.

http://www.near-death.com/experiences/research01.html.  life is a river it seems.  ya, i can see that.  i've never made the comparison before but it's right on the money.  

i'm commited to nothing right now.  and it's an experience i used to relish.  i have nothing that is keeping me around to hold on to.  or to look foward to.  kinda empty actually.  tomorrow, i should be expecting much of the same as today, only with someone i've never seen before.  so it'll be interesting.  and i can't very well ask that she find the body.  so thursday is best for discovery.  that means a wednesday is best to do it on.  so we're back to wednesday.  funny how that keeps happening.  something else, i can't remember now how wednesday came up.

that's tomorrow.  dear.  to morrow ?  this has me thinking of the possibilities.  of the possible postponement?  funny how that's not the thing that's most on my mind right now.  but tomorrow would be a feat i think only hercules could perform.  and i am no hercules.  not tonite.  but tomorrow, i'll go see johnson, and play the game.  then come home and be miserable with this fuckn pain in my left leg, and pop more methadone - i'm taking 45 10mg tablets ... a day.  enough said.

but this week is still in the playing field.  get beyond tomorrow, and i'll have to forge ahead for 7 more days.  i should probably take this private, but i'll keep it public ... for now.  am i close?  i'm close.  like in horseshoes...  not a ringer, but still worth the throw.