i need to get theNote together.  that's going to be a job.  a job i shouldnt do without a clear head.  should do with a clear head.  i'm using the web as my means of communication at another time.  whether it be minutes away, or hours away.  or days away, however i like to try to one post a day.  sorta like, here's what's on my mind. isn't that what a blog is all about?

theNote is going to express my views on what should be done once my death has been seen by the authorities.  i'm sure the police are going to get called.  they'll have to control the scene.  i hope not.  they should be very satisfied with what i'm doing to cover my tracks.  there's nothing really that is so private that i wouldn't open it in view by someone   but theNote is going to be a piece that has taken 2 weeks to come up with.  posting here helps with that too.  but knowing what i've said where, i don't know.  i suppose i could get by with the status quo.  if it's not broken, why fix it?  and nothing is broken.  so there's no need of a fixer.   thank you.

i think the subject is much less talked openly and frankly - it will forever leave questions, if ya wanna know why.

i use word to do special documents.  legal documents i like to use Word for almost anything.  i'm not constrained.  insofar as limitations of certain programs are never a problem.  Word works and is overly bloated, but shit, you can do anything in it.  guess that's why users prefer it against anything else you put up there.  but Word to me is almost second nature.  wordperfect is another text editor thats got bells and whistles.  i know them both but prefer Word.  i know wp was more detailed in it's formatting and control.  the codes were part of the presentation.  geeks all had wp.  i was never a geek, as much as i wish i could have enjoyed it, going geek has had their claws on my back, but i never succeed in being a geek.

the editor here on blogger is pretty good.  it does all the simple formatting for ya. plus it'll save it out as a html document.  i use it to do posts, rather than doing posts in another program then adding them to the gui.  i think there's a mailing address you can use that'll post your rants and things.  photos.  however i dont see how it can transfer photos, but it does.  like the ceo of sprint said, these phones are worth a lot more than just calls from mother. then it goes  on to say all the things the phone was capable of doing things that before required computers.  now we got devices that are basically a small system, on your wrist.  thos will be a long time away.  but really, i see communication between humans evolving to video phone instead of cell phone.

i should do a post on the intinerary of events leading up to laying down on the bed.  this is why alcohol isn't being used.  i wanna remember, for what i don't know, but i think death is only when the body is dead.  soul death is a totally different thing.  but a death is a dead body.  but all the things that are done leading up to the event should be noted somewhere.  theNote is explaining why.  theDeclaration is something that can be used to put the imporant announcements on paper.  like money.  on the declaration.  like household items.  on the declaration.  the will is probabaly a part of the Declaration.  the will is done and printed.  i'll leave the Declaration on the laptop.  i'll leave irc running, and a post that is in the buffer.  drafts.  i dont have drafts.

i'll need to make sure the litter in diva's box is clean and full.  i jus put more litter into the box/container.  she's got plenty of food, but i'll make sure she's got a full dish of food.  the only thing that i can see diva doing is laying next to me.  i hope she sleeps with me that night.  i expect the discovery of my body to be done by my nurse.  yes, i have a nurse. ya have to these days.  no really, i'm not a young chicken any more, and AIDS has taken it's toll. but i expect my nurse to discover the body.  knowing that she's probably got experience finding dead bodies, i'm sure mercy home care has a policy regarding dead bodies.  i would like to know, but if i call it';ll only raise red flags and i'll have to deal with their 'intervention'.

i'll fall asleep in the clothes i'm going to wear on my dying day.  no suit.  maybe army.  i dunno.  i'll figure that out as we get closer to the day.  but army requires a white shirt, and they're not exactly comfortable as bedwear.  but we'll see.  i know i need to be fine as if it's a normal jnight.  i think i'll post after taking the pills, but on my way to the bedroom, is the computer.  so a post right before i retire would make good copy, no?  probably not ready for David talk.

i'll bet i'll have a hard time getting to sleep that night.  i'll have everything running across my mind.  worrying about whether or not i didn't catch something, and what if this happens, do i really wanna leave it for the whole world to see?  i should do a round of pics before i go.  get some of the house, and some self portrait.  tossing and turning, making that night horrible for getting to sleep.  ya think one of those sleeping pills could make it's way into the system and put me out before the rest of it gets digested.  it should act by putting me down first, right?  i mean, i dont wanna be holding my throat and unable to breathe.  

no, i need advice from the medical community and i'm not getting it.  for all it's said and done, that healthline is scripted to refer callers to this access center whatever that is.  i'm not even sure what the access center is all about.  anyway, kristie will do what has to be done, i'm sure of that.  i jus hope she calls linda and gets a hold of her.  linda is my friend who's the executor of my will.  

that's about it for now.  later.z