i'm down to either tomorrow or a week from tomorrow.  this means either tomorrow, or after i see tsaras in rochester mayo on monday, and another visit from shelley on tuesday.  i'm also supposed to get paid back for some loans i have outstanding.  not much.  1410 on one, and 130 on another and 100 on yet another.  i don't see myself recouping the 100, but i've got a chance to get 1000 on the 1410 deal, and 100 on the 130 deal.  decisions decisions.  i could jus say fuck ya all and hang it up tomorrow without seeing a dime out of those deals.  no matter really.  i kinda would forgive some of it, but they didn't do me right in telling me about their need to extend the loan.  so when they pull that kinda shit, i say fuck it.  fork it over or get me collateral.  SOMEthing.

'sides, if i were to pull the plug tomorrow, that jus wouldn't be enough time to get everything readdy.  i need to have certain things on the computers.  i need to have the house in shape for company.  you know what i mean.  make sure diva's got food and her litter box is cleaned up.  then print out the will and maybe even theNote.  i dunno, theNote is quite long now with all those additions i did to it.  plus, doing it tomorrow is just too quick.  i could, but i kinda wanna wait.  oh damn.  would pot help make this decision?  lets see.

well, i'll close tonite's post out with a sense of anticipation.  it's almost got me in knots.  and my heart beats louder and heavier.  and i get the sense that i've lost another part of me along the way.  i'll get out of the mode i was in earlier, by saying that i have a plan. and that plan is holding strong it's position.  being able to schedule every minute of the day between njow and then would be the feat of jesters and other court comics.  there's bound to be something that'll upset the balance and one of the many tracers that are floating about.  tying that into the rhythm of the beat and holding strong the dancing of the beat.  that's what tonite's episode is about on conan o'brian i think he's in new yuork cuz jay's i la, and the cbs late late show is on the west coast 2 hours later than it shows on eastern time. central time is the only real time zone, an hour beloe eastern and 2 ahead of west coast time.  i use zulu time.