it's still on my mind

suicide is still on my mind.  how can it not be?  the subject matter is something that screams exploration.  since there's really little we know about it, and it's all one-sided.  nobody's been able to define with proof, what it's like on the other side.  death in an of itself is only an event, that lasts hopefully just little time.  death is something that lasts only as long as it takes to travel from this side to the other side.  without knowing where the other side is, it would be iimpossible to determine how much time it takes to make the transition.  i think sleep is borderline event horizon.  when one is sleeping, one is experiencing other realities.  our dreams are more than thought processes.  i think once i fall asleep, and then dying because my heart stopped, or whatever the mechanics of such a death would be.  does my heart just stop beating?  or do i stop breathing first?  i don't know what other actions would be possible under those circumstances.  as long as i didn't wake up before the event, i'll be happy.  even if i do wake up before the event.  that would really be something to write about.

i'll keep posting here as long as possible.  i don't anticpate any downtime until that time.  so as long as i'm posting you can rest assured, i'm still breathing.  i may not post every day, but i'll try.  my cat, Diva is pawing at me now, so let me go attend to her.