Friday, August 12, 2011

it all started march 27th

on 3/27/11 (@ 0124), i was stopped for no third brake light.  but it ended up being an OWI.  and because, back in 1998 (having moved from nyc a week earlier) and 1999, i had 2 owi's, this was my third.  by the letter of the law.  i'm like 4 months short of it being 12 years, the maximum amount of time iowa law allows for ruling it a subsequent violation).

the ACA on the case is none other than one steven tynan.  who i hear does only OWI work, and is considered an exceptional, yet hard nosed, county attorney.  i think he's been with the CGCA's office for around 20 years...  give or take a few .  anyway, he upgraded the charges from 2nd to 3rd.  looks like he'll push for the maximum, which includes time in prison.

there's a 30 days minimum in jail for a 3rd.  only a 7 day minimum for 2nd.  when i was convicted before, i got house arrest & fines.  which is what i'm pushing for now.  especially now.

i talked to my friend jeff about it (i consider him well-versed in the harsh realities in the court system.) he advised that i shouldn't take it to trial if at all possible.)  which means, making a deal with the state.

but, i have a defense.  one that should work: the truth.

luckily i have paper to back up that truth.  affidavits, certificates, receipts.  that sorta thing.  i, (again) SHOULD be able to mitigate whatever the punishment they've already decided to bestow upon me.  plus, the cop's story is full of holes the size of china.  as you'll see later.

god knows, i've suffered since.

to plead guilty to something that i had NO CONTROL over is not what the justice system is supposed to be about.  ya'd think that would make a difference.

it doesn't.

it's all a game to the lawyers and judges.  and, they work at it too.  with the evidence i have i should be found not guilty.  if i was on the jury, that'd be how i would vote if it involved someone i didn't know.

but i have to take responsibility for what happened.  i blew a .146.  regardless of intent.  regardless if  incompetency only existed at the time of the violation.  writing this doesn't mean i was never incompetent.  i'm working with hindsight here.  in so much as i can recall events from that night, which is maybe .1% of the time i was out and about.  as time goes on, i seem to be able to recall more and more.

they could argue that iowa law doesn't recognize 'no intent' as a defense for OWI charges.  i mean, as i'm told by attorney tim lapointe, that just because i didn't 'mean' to drink & drive, it doesn't matter.  the facts i guess outweigh any rationality.  i would think someone who deLIBerately drove drunk should be treated as criminals.

i know people sometimes don't give a flying fuck, but that was not the case with this case.  i obviously didn't get stopped for driving recklass, or not obeying the traffic rules.  how many of you check your third backlight before you start the car?  you'd think a drunk driver wouldn't have that sort of control over the car.

they probably would argue that drunk people don't know right from wrong, too, but that's no excuse.  i would find it hard to argue this point.  it's so clear.

no, i'm talking about sleepwalking.  i have a history of sleepwalking, and what happened that night was during an episode of sleepwalking.  i swear.  i didn't know i had an OWI until i saw the ticket on the desk, the next morning.  these are not blackouts, as some of you have suggested.  these events do not care if i'm drunk or sober.

i have the dates of my previous sleepwalking events from the last 12 months.  once, i incurred injuries from head to toe being in my mud-floor basement.  when i woke up the next day, i remembered dreaming about being in a concentration camp during WWII and trying to dig my way out (which would have explained the dirt on my socks and underwear).  i've got pictures up on farpoint of those injuries.  notice the date.  long before this OWI.  so this is not a manufactured defense.

anyway, back on point.  i have been known to sleepwalk and drive before.  once when i went through a 1/4 tank of gas.  another time i cleared off 2' of snow from the station wagon, and went driving.  i noticed the next day that i had a dent in my right front fender.  a small dent, so it wasn't anything major or life-threatening to anybody.  what i think happened was that as i was turning into the backyard, i slid into the corner of the house.

now, the drinking part bothers me in two ways:  first that i would only go to one bar if i ever went out - which hasn't happened in over 2 years - called sportsman's and i talked to robie, who worked that nite, and he confirmed i aint been in there for a 'long time'. and secondly, i'm not a drinker, haven't been for a number of years.  i'm a potboi.  since receipts can't come into play here (other than the clear lake receipt for dinner), the only way i can track my expenditures is to guess.

money.  it looks like i spent $30 somewhere.  i have a receipt that puts me in clear lake, eating at a restaurant, the half moon inn, which is a great place to eat btw. it's about 10mi to the west of mason city.  thanks to the credit card i used, i have record of where i went, at least in the beginning of the night (the timestamp has me in clear lake at 2244.  i also stopped over at my friend pete's house.  twice.  once early around 2215 totally sober, and then again around midnight.  that time, i had a few drinks in me.  so between 2230 and 0100, i had to have consumed enough liquor to make me .146 according to the final PBT results.

i hardly remember any of this.  but as i began to investigate my actions from the previous night, it just didn't fit.  but more on that in a bit.

and, my public defender, theresa, who i've only met once, and emailed a couple of times, has a heavy caseload as it is, i'm sure i'm only another number to her.  i have dropped off some paperwork to support my case.  whether she'll use it, i don't know.  actually, i'm afraid she's not even going to bother 'fighting' for me.  fighting for justice obviously can only come from a $3-5K lawyer.

if i had 3k i could get this attorney in des moines, named john doran, who specializes in OWI's, and more importantly, IOWA OWI's.

it's hard to not think about this whole mess 24/7.  i'm having a hard time getting to sleep.  throughout the day i keep thinking i should be making memories.  but i just don't have the energy.  plus my legs couldn't take being away from a chair for very long.

i can't even walk around the block.  i get to the corner, and have to turn around and come back.  i live on the alley side of the block.  even walking down to the corner, i get somewhat unstable.  but i push on as much as i can, but it's been a chore.  i did do a nice walk today tho.  4 blocks.  i found taking it slow can make all the difference.

this is the first time i'm making it public - i have AIDS.  i've been HIV+ since 1984 while in nyc, and it was confirmed in 1986, in cherokee, ia of all places.  but i've been dealing with it's pronounced affliction since my hospitalization on new years eve of 2000 in the university of iowa hospitals.  and lately things have gotten to a point that i'm not sure what to think any more.  i used to think that i was invinceable to AIDS, but i've been proven wrong lately.

it's all about image.  now that's a topic i'm well versed in.  it's allll about image.  i'm trying to decide what type of image i want to present to the judge.  one of a defender of gay rights (remember act up? & take a look at my facebook page), or one that is relying on the mercifullness of the court?  that's the answer i was seeking when i told my friend jeff about the case.  he suggested that the DA/CA, and the judge, and even my atty.  all know what is going to happen already.  that any 'defense' is just going to be for show & it'll piss off the godz, and my punishment will be greater because i fought back.  and he told me that their minds are made up already.

this bothered me greatly when i heard it.  i thought, noooo, we have a system, and that system works when it's followed.  but maybe he's right.  he's been through it a few times.  i told him that tynan was talking oakdale (which is a prison-like hospital where the screening process starts when you enter 'the system').  sometimes you just stay there.  jeff, having been there, said it was the cleanest place to be.  giving me the impression that prison was a dirty place.  i mean, when i was in eldora, and cherokee, we kept those places spotless.

i'm praying that my 'evidence' will outweigh anything tynan can offer.  actually, his offering is composed of a sworn statement by the officer of alleged facts that can be disproven as you'll see later.

i have a couple of pot possession charges from '92 and '04 that all got dismissed.  but other than that - oh wait, a public intox in '99 on the night of my brother's funeral. i had gone down to the corner bar to get drunk.  i was walking home, and got 10' from turning into my house when a cop stopped me and took me to jail for public intox.  i got thrown into the tank.  for 18 hours.  and i think i did some community service for that violation after court.

a day i'll never forget.

but i've been a goodie trudie as far as problems with the law - a real 'pro-MADD'r if you will.  never had a ticket except for the owi's.  i'm a professional driver.  have been since age 13.  i've driven cab/limo in 10 cities across the country.  never had an accident.  never got so much as a speeding ticket, even tho i've got a lead foot.

john doran thinks the way to go is to attack the tests.  there's only one test they have, and that's the PBT.  they marked down that i refused to do the FST, except for the breath tests, which yielded a .156 @ first, and .146 @ the station on a certified blower.  i don't remember any of this, and there weren't any receipts (except for the dinner in clear lake).  so i know i went through 25 bux there.

when i woke up the next morning, i was down like $70.  so i must have spent $45 somewhere.  which to say isn't impossible, but to do it all by myself in that amount of time, would have been hard, even here in mason city.  i figure i had 3 drinks, plus a nice tip $3 for every $5 i spend is about right.  $45 wouldn't have been that difficult.  just where did i have those drinks, is for anybody to haphazzardly guess.  i know i didn't go to sporty's.  that would leave the OP.  i haven't been able to track down who worked that night, so i can't verify when/whether i was there.

but this was all triggered by some bad news.  my ex-lover is in the hospital.  and that has set off a chain of events that have been the worst possible two months of my life.  and i've hitchhiked across this country between 1975-1980.  a dozen times, it's all being chronicled in my new book the.HITCHHIKER), the outline of it is online.

over these two months, two more events have happened that have been life-changing.

first, i woke up in des moines on april 3rd, in a room at the hotel fort des moines, IN des moines, of course.  i asked the front desk clerk about it, and evidently i got in there at 0145.  so between midnight and 0145, i drove all 120 miles to des moines.  and not so much as a flashback memory comes into play here.  sadly.  it would have been a lot of fun memorymaking, if i know me.

i do have a receipt (bank statement entry really) for a gas station in des moines at 0117.  so, lemme get this right.  i go out, sleepwalking, over to my friend's house (who i consider family) and then go out drinking to a strange bar, and spend 45 bux or so.

and i get stopped for no brake light.

here's the report that was included in the trial information.  the report in which the officer 'testifies' to reads as follows:
"on 3/27/2011 i (p.o. neidermeyer) was traveling west bound on highway 122.  i drove through the intersection of highway 122 and s. taft ave.  as i drove through the intersection i observed the traffic control device turn red (so he did what many people do, instead of stopping, he hurries through the intersection on a turning red signal.  ok, that's 1 down.)  i looked in my rear view mirror and observed the driver activate his brake light."
wait a minute here.  he looked in his MIRROR, and saw MY brake light???  that means i was driving AWAY from him, which would put me going eastward, not westward as i was going.  did the officer get mixed up? or was he just telling a tale that he made up to bolster the reason why he stopped my vehicle.

on with the story, more verbatim according to the report this officer niedermayer, brandon niedermayer, testified to.  oh, & he's a cute kopper too.  i'm surprised there's nothing in the report of me staring at his ass.

ok, back to the report:
"the vehicle did not have an operating third brake light. [this would only be possible if he was behind me.  if he was behind me, how could he see my brake light in his mirror?  he would have had to have been going eastward, and then turn around a mile down the road.  had he done that, why wuld he be forgetting to mention that?  something's awfully smelly with his statement here.]  i activated my emergency lights and stopped the vehicle.  the vehicle was travelling westbound in the left lane of the highway.  the driver activated his left turn signal as if he was going to pull the vehicle over onto the left lane shoulder.  the driver then activated his right turn signal and crossed the right lane and stopped the vehicle on the shoulder of the right lane."
so in essence, i was FOLLOWING THE LAW.  ok, on we go with  more of his report
"i exited my patrol vehicle and approached the vehicle.  i spoke with the driver and requested his driver's license, proof of insurance, and registration.  the driver pulled his wallet out and began to look for his license."
if you open my wallet, my drivers license is RIGHT THERE, under the clear plastic panel.  it's very easily removeable.  so is this officer mixed up or making up some concoction to bolster his own actions.  but on with his story:
"the driver was fumbling through his wallet.  the driver had a difficult time removing his license for(sp?) the wallet.  the driver handed his license to me and his proof of insurance.  i asked the driver if he has his registration for the vehicle.  the driver stated that he did not have the registration in the vehicle.  as i spoke with the driver i noticed a very strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath.  the driver also had watery eyes and slurred speech."
i doubt this very much.  first off, he asked me two questions.  and my answers to those questions would have been a yes or a no.  was there more to the 'conversation'?  also, i wear contacts, which will make my eyes appear 'watery' and red at times, especially if they're dry.  and they would have been extremely dry because i was smoking pot earlier that evening.  and slurred speech?  i don't get that way when i'm drunk.  the officer is definitely over exaggerating the environment of these events, or he's making things up again.  i know this because i know me.  anyway, there's more ...
"i took the information the driver gave to me and returned to my patrol vehicle.  i identified the driver of the vehicle to be a * Schmidt.  i contacted dispatch and requested another Officer at my location for Field Sobriety Testing.  Officer Duenow(sp?) arrived and(?) my  location and assisted (what assistance did he require?) me with the testing."
just how long do you think it would take for another officer to show up?  5 min?  15 min?  what was going on during this extended period of time?  if the cop followed the rules, there would have been video of this stop.  which i would have gladly have called into the record.

ok, on with the show...
"i re-approached the vehicle and spoke with Schmidt.  (spoke?  like how?  what did you say to me?  what did i say to YOU?  these are important questions because it'll fill in the gaps, that definitely need filling in to portray the whole picture of the events surrounding my arrest.)  i asked Schmidt to exit the vehicle.  Schmidt opened the driver's door and exited the vehicle."
normally, right?  i didn't fall down or get wobbly in any way did i?  oh wait, here it comes, the standard text one would use to illustrate how 'drunk' someone is...
"As Schmidt exited the vehicle he stumbled and was having a difficult time maintaining his balance. (and the officerS never did ANYthing to prevent a fall or worse, walking into on-coming traffic on a highway, at 1:30 in the MORNing?)  i requested Schmidt stand behind his vehicle so that he would not be on the highway as i spoke with him.  I explained the repair order to Schmidt.  Schmidt was having a difficulty maintaining his balance while i explained the regair order to him.  (again, standard must have text to illustrate how a drunk would be) as i explained the repair order to Schmidt, i could still smell a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath while he spoke."  (while he spoke?  what did i say?)
at every step, i'm able to follow directions.  and spoke?  it looks like neidermeyer was doing all the talking.  small point, but definitely one that'll get overlooked as we stitch up this concocted story.  there's more...
"i asked Schmidt if he had any alcoholic beverages to drink tonite.  i stated to Schmidt that i could smell an odor of an alcoholic beverage on this breath.  Schmidt stated that he had with supper."
let me just state for the record...  i don't call my evening meal, supper.  it's DINNER.  and yes, i had a martini with dinner earlier; remember i have a receipt.

now back to the fairy-land testimony of mr. niedermayer...
"i asked Schmidt when that would of (?= have) been.  Schmidt stated that it was an hour ago. i asked Schmidt if he would be willing to perform(sp) Field Sobriety testing for me to see if he was safe to operate a motor vehicle.  Schmidt stated that he would perform the tests."
"i explained the horizontal gaze nystagmus test to Schmidt. Schmidt had a difficulty keeping his stationary through out the test.  i was not able to detect any clues with this test."
"i explained and began to demonstrate the walk and turn test to Schmidt.  as i began to demonstrate the test to Schmidt he stated that he could not preform(sp!) the test.  while i was explaining the test to Schmidt i instructed him to remain in the instructional position."
instructional position??  what the hell is that?  is brandon a lil' leather boy afteralll?  lets continue... notice he says "could not" not "would not", there's a big difference.
"Schmidt had difficulty maintaining balance and could not remain in the instructional position.  i did not score Schmidt with this test due to his refusal [refusal? hardly, more like 'unable'] to preform(sp!) the test.
"i explained and began to demonstrate the one leg stand test to Schmidt.  Schmidt state to me that he would not be able (would, or could, CULD not be ABLE) to preform(sp!) the test.  i did not score Schmidt on this test."
"i asked Schmidt if he would be willing to preform(sp!) a PBT test.  Schmidt stated that he would preform(sp!) the test.  (again, following directions to a T has GOT to mean SUMthing)  i instructed Schmidt on how to give a proper breath sample for the test.  Schmidt gave a breath sample that indicated a blood alcohol level of .156."
first, i would have told niedermayer that i couldn't have been able to take the leg/foot/stand test even if i was sober.  and would have tried to explain to him that i have medical issues - something that could have been proven right then and there because all i would have had to do is produce my bag of 20 bottles of meds that i had with me.

ok, lemme get this last part typed up... and here we go with the conclusion of his report:
"I requested that Schmidt give a breath sample of a certified test.   Schmidt stated that he would be willing to give a certified breath test.  i transported Schmidt to the cerro gordo county jail."
"i read the implied consent advisory to Schmidt at 0201 hrs.  Schmidt consented to a certified chemical test.  Schmidt gave a breath sample that indicated a blood alcohol level of .146 [there, i KNEW it was less than .15, and in iowa that seems to make a difference.]  I advised Schmidt that he was under arrest for OWI."
 "i read the miranda advisory to Schmidt at 0239 hrs.  i asked Schmidt if he would be willing to answer an interview questionnaire.  Schmidt stated that he refused to answer the questionnaire."
ok, i'm trying to wrap my head around this ...  i was cooperative as anybody with this cop, telling him that i was physically unable to do the FST, giving him a breath sample in the field, even agreeing to cooperate back at the jail, yet, i'm gonna refuse to do an interview??  huney, i LIVE for interviews.  anytime i can talk about my life, i can go on and on and on - obviously.  that just doesn't make any sense.  his report ends on this note:
"i charged Schmidt with OWI 2nd.  Schmidt was held at the cerro gordo county jail."
so there ya have it.  the catalyst to a chain of events that didn't end until may 2.  in between 3/27 and 5/2, i got robbed.  first in des moines, where they took my brand new toshiba 17" $1500 laptop, my bag of meds and my wallet from the hotel.

anyway, des moines was where this friend of a friend lived, and i was in touch with him earlier in the week, about selling my car (i knew my license was over with, and i wuz gonna need money to get out of the OWI, so i'm inclined to go the extra mile and get as much as fast as i can get.  this guy, made me think he would buy it.  so that's why i think i went down there on 4/2.

i blame sleepwalking for that trip too, because #1 - i have night blindness and would never drive after the sun went down (which adds to the mystery of the night i got the OWI), and #2 - des moines wouldn't have been on my radar unless there was a specific reason to go all the way down there.  in the back of my head i must have thought i could have sold the car, got the money, and get back home without any problem.

anyway, while in des moines, i discover that this friend of my friend jeff's, whose name is ryan, decided not to buy the car, but an acquaintance of his stepped up and offered to buy it.  i was so happy that i was getting it sold, and anxious to get my money ($1600) that i stayed another  night in des moines.  the next day, i met up with this guy, who called himself bob, who happens to be a bigtime meth dealer.  that didn't bother me so long as they treated me with respect, which at first they did.  ya know?

so bob, his GF, and i all drove up to mason city the night of 4/4, and got to my house.  the plan was they would drop me off, give me my money and i would give them the title and the keys.  but.

when we all got into the house, bob pulls out a gun and points it at my head, demanding all my money and drugs.  i told him i didn't have any... so he pistol whips me while his girlfriend rummages through my desk and files.  throwing shit all over the place.  they then proceeded to rip away my computers, all the audio/visual systems.  all the while his girlfriend is watching over me with a hammer in her hand.  swinging it at me threateningly.  and they took every electronic device in the house, including my vaio laptop, my mac, the amp, the mixer, speakers, harddrives, routers, modem (which the cable company is charging me $189 for) both LCD tv's, my xbox and wireless controller.

they end up totally trashing every room in the house.  i mean, it looked like a junkyard when i woke up.  they knocked me out, and left early in the morning with the car packed to the tilt with all my stuff.

during the following week, i find out that there are hundreds of dollars worth of unauthorized charges on my cards, and wiped out my bank account.  it was a trainwreck.  and because of a change of address they submitted to the post office a month later, i wasn't getting any mail, all my bills went to des moines, and i fell behind.  getting all this sorted out has still got me under the gun.

frankly, it's not over as there was a box of checks that the bank mailed to me.  which got rerouted to des moines into the hands of this bonnie and clyde outfit.  they forged about 25 checks, which passed thru my bank because i can't afford $10/check to stop payment on each of them.  so, i get stuck being charged $25 for each check that came into the bank because i have overdraft protection (which means, they'll honor the check, but they're going to charge me NSF fee of $25 per instance on top of whatever amount the check was written for).  they racked up some $400 worth of needless bank charges and over $1000 on products and services, before the bank took any action.

my cousin gary who lives behind me, saw these sons of bitches leave around 0530 when he was leaving for work.  had he known what was happening, he said he would have stopped them, but he just figured they were friends of mine, and let 'em get away, in my car.

oh yeah, bob & PIC (partner-in-crime) found the titles to my cars, and held a gun to my head to make me sign them over to them.  so i did, but i spelled out my name, which isn't my signature at all, hoping they would get caught.  it then dawned on me that these were the same assholes that ripped me off in my hotel room in des moines.

anyway, i woke up the next afternoon, and called the cops.  an officer came over, gave me a pen and paper to write down all the items that were taken, and took a few pictures.  then leaves.

i called the police a couple of days later to find out what had been done to recover my property and car.  i never get a call back after leaving this offier a voicemail.  about 3 weeks later i get a letter from the post office telling me that someone submitted a change of address form, and routed all of my mail down to this address in des moines.  1123 13th street se to be exact.

i even had bob's phone number, and gave it to the cop.  hoping that they could catch this fucker, and would actually WANT to get this guy off the street.  but NOOOooo, they acted as if they couldn't have cared less.

i even called the local paper and explained to the crime editor there was a bonnie and clyde team roaming around that would do this shit.  who knows what they would have been up to after they robbed me.  i wanted to get the word out that there are people like this in town.

at about the same time after the robbery, i get a letter from some towing company in des moines. my car has been sitting in their lot for the last 2 weeks, towed at the request of the polk county (des moines) sheriff.

i called the towing company and they said the keys were in the ignition, but nothing else was in the car, and that there was no damage to the vehicle.

so my friend pete and i go to des moines to reclaim the car.  which cost $660 to get.  it should have been reported hot, and they should have immediately contacted me, but NOOO, mason city police never put out the alert.  so we get the car back, and drive back up to mason.  i had to do something with the car, like GIVE it away. to pete, since he was driving me around in it anyway.  at least i could still enjoy my new sound system i put in.

and then, the 3rd event that was life changing happened.  when i woke up on apr 20th, i was unable to speak or walk.  i thought i had been robbed again, so i calld the cops.  two officers came this time, and saw i was in distress medically, and took me to mercy medical center of north iowa, where some tests immediately showed that i was in acute renal failure.  they call the fire dept. ambulance to come and transport me to mayo clinic in rochester, minnesota.  which is fine, because that's where my ID doctor is.  so i was fine with that, thinking a couple of days of recuperation is what i needed.  it ended up being 10 days of intensive care and regular internal med care, where i had to learn how to walk again.  i was a pretty sick boy when i went in.  according to my nurse, had i waited another 24 hours it was very possible that i could have died from the matter.

i have a clinical record of my hospitalization.  there are a dozen diagnoses listed.  all the while, i have pete and linda (his sister) keep an eye on the house.  pete had an extra set of keys so he could get in, feed diva and empty her litter.  and just make sure things are still there.

back to the violation; one thing i wanted the judge to consider was this: if i had the presence of mind to be driving around town since 10pm, why would i be so 'fumbling' and have 'difficulty being stationary"?  remember, i wasn't stopped because of a moving violation.

oh well, as of this date, the status of my case is unknown, only that there was a continuance from july 7th.  until when i have NO idea.  theresa seems to agree that oakdale is out of the question.  i'm hoping that we can just agree to do house arrest, and pay a fine.  nobody was hurt.  no property was damaged.  no harm, no problem, right?  ya, rite.

stay tuned as i'll be updating this as needed.  and mr. tynan, if you're reading this, i hope you come to your senses and be realistic about this.  jail would serve no purpose.  if you want to punish me, take my money, but let me continue to stay on my life-sustaining regimen.  my family doctor signed an affidavit with the details of my medical condition.  he's usually pretty good about things like that.

i should also mention that i'm required to get a substance abuse evaluation done. i thought that only was required AFTER you're found guilty, but i guess it's beFORE you even go to trial. that's another $125 down the drain. i'm not worried tho. i don't have a problem with alcohol, especially. now pot? that's a different story. i don't have a problem with it. i jus smoke it whenever i can. i can't afford that either. it's bad enough i smoke cigarettes, that's like $150/mo. i wISH i could stop smoking fags. but it's definitely an oral fixation. i can chew gum, or bit on a toothpick, and not need to smoke. licorice does the trick too.

anyway, back on that evaluation. i'm sure i could probably get my doctor to write one up for me, but something tells me that they WANT me to have to spend money. so it can only come from a 'certified' drug counselor, like those that work at priarie ridge (a local treatment center). i've had a 3/4 bottle of vodka in my freezer since 2009, on my birthday. if i were to drink, vodka would be my 1st choice. i've had years of jack daniels on me. i'd rather not get that way again, especially being stuck in mason city.

but it's no secret. i did a whale of a load of drugs back in the day. there were maybe 3 drugs i never took. i did heroin only once. woke up with my head in some dyke's pussy. i never touched the horse again. now meth. that's a different story.

i never did meth until after i went to san francisco, when i got out of drug rehab in cherokee. they put me on a bus, with a sack of sandwiches, and fruit. and an address of where i was supposed to go in san fran. that's a whole nother chapter in my life.

suffice it to say, i did my first IV dose of meth with this really reeeeely hot boi, jerry. again, and again, and again. it got pretty bad.

at one point, i was up for 10 days, and coming out of a peep show booth down on turk. having seen $50 worth of movies and jerkin for the last 10 hours, i get into a cab. who after a few blocks decided i was not the type of customer he could deal with ... so he drops me off across the street from the SFPD building. and i get in the phone booth, at 6am.

i call my folx in manly ia. collect. and pleaded with them that there are helicopters following me, and they're going to take me to jail. and on and on. dear lord. i stoppd the meth for a week.

but i aint done that hard shit for a long time. i've been celibate since jan 6 2005.

the third, and most damaging event of this triad sequence, was going to mayo for 10 days. going through dialysis. and almost every other conceivable test they could possibly get by with. it was intense to say the least. at least they loan out laptops. wireless is a nice distraction from the realities of tests, and more tests.

i'm still paying that price. i've got doctors' appointments, public health happening, and coumadin clinic - twice a week. my numbers just aren't playing nice with me. for some reason. they keep bouncing all over the place. it's hard to gauge the future doses. i'm on 25mg a day now. that's like what? 175 a week? that's an unusually high dose. but then, it took 19 pills, 3 times a DAY, of methadone 10mg tabs. and i still wuznt getting THAT much benefit from them. they would work for about an hour. but i spoze that's why they're so much cheaper than vicodin, and oxy's.

i'm glad i'm not on dialysis any more. that was rough. they had to put catheters, in twice. one in my neck, and the other in my chest. plus, c-diff had hit me square in the butt. that was quite messy. i hated to put those nurses through what i did. but they played nice with me. on a scale of 1-10, i'd giv 'em a 7. mercy in mason rates about a 5. they have bigger computer monitors @ mayo. maybe that's why.

so, there's other things that i wanted to point the court to. like a website about sleepwalking by the NIH in washington. they recognize that it's a phenomenon. usually little kids have sleepwalking events. i've always been bothered by sleepwalking. when i lived in new york, oh my lord. i'd never get into trouble tho. and i drank jack one way: jack, splash, twist, in a mug. and every bartender knew what i drank, and had it ready for me before i hit the back of the bar. it was nice having that treatment. i certainly don't get any of that here.

but i've been a lot more active in promoting anti-bullying (ie, the STAND UP campaign), equality in rights and privileges of the bisexual and gay communities. sexual orientation isn't a CHOICE. shit, who in their right mind would subject themselves to abuse, and neglect, and vilifications. i tell folx i was suckin my daddy's dick when i was conceieved. i never came 'out' except the time i was born.

i'm not sure what's going to happen in the upcoming weeks. that's hard for me to deal with. i like to know what i'm doing for the foreseeable future. usually a month. at least 2 weeks. i keep a calendar. without it, i would be dead in the water. it's not just having the internet - which i would advocate is just as important as electricity, and water. and garbage pick up. i couldn't live without it, and be expected to do all the right things, at the right times. god help me if they ever come and take my computer. i've instituted safety precautions. like online backup.

so, like i said, i have NO idea what to expect. and when. i wish my lawyer, who has a FB page, but i'm not sure i want her reading my posts on facebook. i don't think she'll find me on facebook. i can stay pretty hidden if i want to. it's easy to get lost on the net. ya know, if i wuz smart, i'd have my own routing tables. but no matter, qwest knows EXACTly where i've been, how long i spent there. i like the anonymity of the net. not that i'm hiding. i'm jus not showing myself in a certain light. there's a difference. i still feel like i'm in new york tho. that happens a lot. especially when i'm typing to the web.

and with that, i must close out. it's getting late. and my bed is calling me. good nite, and stay out of trouble.



all in all, i'm jus taking it one day at a time.  any comments?  help yourself to a textbox.


Thursday, August 11, 2011

we salute you, one and all, and support the families of these brave men

i figured i'll post the list of the names of those special forces men that died in that helicopter in afghanistan.  i do this out of respect for them.  for the whole world should know these fine young men, and what they gave up to defend freedom.  this came out today in the local paper:


WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Department of Defense announced Thursday the names of 30 servicemembers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.
They died Aug. 6 in Wardak province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when their CH-47 Chinook helicopter crashed.
The death of U.S. Navy SEAL and Petty Officer 1st Class Jon Tumilson of Rockford was confirmed earlier this week.
The following is the full list of sailors assigned to an East Coast-based Naval Special Warfare unit who were killed:
Lt. Cmdr. (SEAL) Jonas B. Kelsall, 32, of Shreveport, La.
Special Warfare Operator Master Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Louis J. Langlais, 44, of Santa Barbara, Calif.
Special Warfare Operator Senior Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Thomas A. Ratzlaff, 34, of Green Forest, Ark.
Explosive Ordnance Disposal Technician Senior Chief Petty Officer (Expeditionary Warfare Specialist/Freefall Parachutist) Kraig M. Vickers 36, of Kokomo, Hawaii.
Special Warfare Operator Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Brian R. Bill, 31, of Stamford, Conn.
Special Warfare Operator Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) John W. Faas, 31, of Minneapolis.
Special Warfare Operator Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Kevin A. Houston, 35, of West Hyannisport, Mass.
Special Warfare Operator Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Matthew D. Mason, 37, of Kansas City.
Special Warfare Operator Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Stephen M. Mills, 35, of Fort Worth, Texas.
Explosive Ordnance Disposal Technician Chief Petty Officer (Expeditionary Warfare Specialist/Freefall Parachutist/Diver) Nicholas H. Null, 30, of Washington, W.Va.,
Special Warfare Operator Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Robert J. Reeves, 32, of Shreveport, La.
Special Warfare Operator Chief Petty Officer (SEAL) Heath M. Robinson, 34, of Detroit.
Special Warfare Operator Petty Officer 1st Class (SEAL) Darrik C. Benson, 28, of Angwin, Calif.
Special Warfare Operator Petty Officer 1st Class (SEAL/Parachutist) Christopher G. Campbell, 36, of Jacksonville, N.C.
Information Systems Technician Petty Officer 1st Class (Expeditionary Warfare Specialist/Freefall Parachutist) Jared W. Day, 28, of Taylorsville, Utah.
Master-at-Arms Petty Officer 1st Class (Expeditionary Warfare Specialist) John Douangdara, 26, of South Sioux City, Neb.
Cryptologist Technician (Collection) Petty Officer 1st Class (Expeditionary Warfare Specialist) Michael J. Strange, 25, of Philadelphia.
Special Warfare Operator Petty Officer 1st Class (SEAL/Enlisted Surface Warfare Specialist) Jon T. Tumilson, 35, of Rockford.
Special Warfare Operator Petty Officer 1st Class (SEAL) Aaron C. Vaughn, 30, of Stuart, Fla.
Special Warfare Operator Petty Officer 1st Class (SEAL) Jason R. Workman, 32, of Blanding, Utah.
The following sailors assigned to a West Coast-based Naval Special Warfare unit were killed:
Special Warfare Operator Petty Officer 1st Class (SEAL) Jesse D. Pittman, 27, of Ukiah, Calif., and Special Warfare Operator Petty Officer 2nd Class (SEAL) Nicholas P. Spehar, 24, of St. Paul.
The soldiers killed were:
Chief Warrant Officer David R. Carter, 47, of Centennial, Colo. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 135th Aviation Regiment (General Support Aviation Battalion), Aurora, Colo.
Chief Warrant Officer Bryan J. Nichols, 31, of Hays, Kan. He was assigned to the 7th Battalion, 158th Aviation Regiment (General Support Aviation Battalion), New Century, Kan.
Sgt. Patrick D. Hamburger, 30, of Lincoln, Neb. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 135th Aviation Regiment (General Support Aviation Battalion), Grand Island, Neb.
Sgt. Alexander J. Bennett, 24, of Tacoma, Wash. He was assigned to the 7th Battalion, 158th Aviation Regiment (General Support Aviation Battalion), New Century, Kan.
Spc. Spencer C. Duncan, 21, of Olathe, Kan. He was assigned to the 7th Battalion, 158th Aviation Regiment (General Support Aviation Battalion), New Century, Kan.
The airmen killed were:
Tech. Sgt. John W. Brown, 33, of Tallahassee, Fla.
Staff Sgt. Andrew W. Harvell, 26, of Long Beach, Calif.
Tech. Sgt. Daniel L. Zerbe, 28, of York, Pa.
All three airmen were assigned to the 24th Special Tactics Squadron, Pope Field, N.C
Read more: http://globegazette.com/news/local/list-of-helicopter-crash-victims-released/article_55a4f656-c435-11e0-bf9d-001cc4c03286.html#ixzz1Ulass0mV

Saturday, August 06, 2011

the promises kept by a president

i'm reposting this FYI from facebook's @FARHAD ZAMANI:

FYI: A SAMPLE OF CAMPAIGN PROMISES KEPT BY PRESIDENT OBAMA:
No. 4: Extend child tax credits and marriage-penalty fixes
No. 16: Increase minority access to capital
No. 33: Establish a credit card bill of rights
No. 36: Expand loan programs for small businesses
No. 37: Extend the Bush tax cuts for lower incomes
No. 38: Extend the Bush tax cuts for those making less than $250,000 (couples) or $200,000 (single)
No. 48: Close the “doughnut hole” in Medicare prescription drug plan
No. 51: Require insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions
No. 53: Give tax credits to those who need help to pay health premiums
No. 55: Require large employers to contribute to a national health plan
No. 56: Require children to have health insurance coverage
No. 57: Expand eligibility for Medicaid
No. 58: Expand eligibility for State Children’s Health Insurance Fund (SCHIP)
No. 63: Require health plans to disclose how much of the premium goes to patient care
No. 65: Establish an independent health institute to provide accurate and objective information
No. 69: In non-competitive markets, force insurers to pay out a reasonable share of their premiums for patient care
No. 70: Eliminate the higher subsidies to Medicare Advantage plans
No. 93: Reinstate executive order to hire an additional 100,000 federal employees with disabilities within five years.
No. 105: Increase the Veterans Administration budget to recruit and retain more mental health
No. 109: Fully fund the Veterans Administration
No. 113: Expand the Veterans Administration’s number of “centers of excellence” in specialty care
No. 121: Fully fund the Violence Against Women Act
No. 125: Direct military leaders to end war in Iraq
No. 126: Begin removing combat brigades from Iraq
No. 132: No permanent bases in Iraq
No. 161: End the abuse of supplemental budgets for war
No. 167: Make U.S. military aid to Pakistan conditional on anti-terror efforts
No. 172: Open “America Houses” in Islamic cities around the globe
No. 182: Allocate Homeland Security funding according to risk
No. 195: Seek verifiable reductions in nuclear stockpiles
No. 196: Extend monitoring and verification provisions of the START I Treaty
No. 197: Stand down nuclear forces to be reduced under the Moscow Treaty
No. 215: Create a rapid response fund for emerging democracies
No. 222: Grant Americans unrestricted rights to visit family and send money to Cuba
No. 225: Establish an Energy Partnership for the Americas
No. 229: Expand the Nurse-Family Partnership to all low-income, first-time mothers
No. 239: Release presidential records
No. 241: Require new hires to sign a form affirming their hiring was not due to political affiliation or contributions.
No. 244: Provide affordable, high-quality child care
No. 247: Recruit math and science degree graduates to the teaching profession
No. 259: Reduce subsidies to private student lenders and protect student borrowers
No. 269: Increase funding for national parks and forests
No. 275: Expand Pell grants for low-income students
No. 290: Push for enactment of Matthew Shepard Act, which expands hate crime law to include sexual orientation and other factors
No. 293: Repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy
No. 315: Establish ‘Promise Neighborhoods’ for areas of concentrated poverty
No. 359: Rebuild schools in New Orleans
No. 371: Fund a major expansion of AmeriCorps
No. 411: Work to overturn Ledbetter vs. Goodyear
No. 422: Create new financial regulations
No. 427: Ban lobbyist gifts to executive employees
No. 433: Sign a “universal” health care bill
No. 435: Create new criminal penalties for mortgage fraud
No. 449: Raise fuel economy standards
No. 458: Invest in all types of alternative energy
No. 483: Invest in public transportation
No. 495: Double federal spending for research on clean fuels
No. 500: Increase funding for the Environmental Protection Agency
No. 507: Extend unemployment insurance benefits and temporarily suspend taxes on these benefits
No. 513: Reverse restrictions on stem cell research

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

capital one

do NOT do business with capital one.  they are thieves.  they'll take money out of your bank account withOUT your authorization.  they've done it twice to me already.  making me incur several NSF charges.  yes, i owe them money, but they have NO right to withdraw funds without my permission.  period.

never mind they'll call you day AND night, several times a day in fact, to tell you they want money.  so this is the letter i sent them:


Dear Capital One:

My name is ***, and I have 2 credit cards
with your company, a/c # 4862 #### #### ####, and
a/c # 4862 #### #### ####.

I know my balances are maxed out, and in one
account, over maxed.  And I will pay down these
balances.

I just got home from the hospital, and listened to my
phone messages.  There were over 20 calls from
CapOne.  My brother told me that he picked up the
phone once and explained to the caller the situation.

Yet CapOne continued to call over a dozen more
times.

Not only that, but CapOne has taken money out of my
bank account, TWICE, without my authorization,
causing me to incur charges for overdraft protection.

So to prevent any more theft, I've changed banks.
I'll pay CapOne when I receive a paper bill.  No more
ESF transfers for you.  I can't take the chance that
you'll revert to your old ways again in the future.

I've also put a block on your telephone numbers.  So,
until I receive a paper bill, you'll just have to wait in
line like everybody else.

Respectfully yours,

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

what i need to do is find out just who the hell is in charge of those twits @ goo.gl, and put an end to this bullshit.  these sons of bitches are playing cat & mouse with my (our?) accounts.  it's time i call in the big guns.

oh DARTH, where are you boy?

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

G+

G+

if you want an invite, comment your email address. but if you have a gmail addy, you shouldn't need an invite. hell, half of the invites are getting lost between the hosts - i haven't received any of the dozen that have been sent to me. no matter, G+ i think will be well worth the wait if you're getting bored with facebook.

Monday, June 27, 2011

my email to PCSD

PCSD=polk county (ia) sheriff's dept.

hello

my name is david ***, and i'm in mason city iowa. 2 months ago, i came to des moines to sell my car to a friend of a friend. after he told me that he changed his mind, he could no longer afford to buy my 91 buick. but another guy who was present said he would buy it. buoyed by his willingness to buy the car sight unseen, threw me. all went well the rest of the day, and the next day we meet up and the plan was they would drive me back to mason city, i would give them the title, and they would drive back to des moines.

sounded harmless.

so we drive up to mason, and when we got to my house, as soon as we were all inside, the guy, who's name i know as bob, took a gun out and pointed it at me demanding all my money and drugs. i'm a patient so there were lots of pill boxes and containers laying around. he, & his girlfriend, proceeded to completely destroy the house, going through every box, taking every electronic device i had, and i had many (3 computers, xbox, 2 large lcd tvs, and more), he hit me and knocked me out. and, according to my cousin who lives right behind me, they left at around 0530. i didn't wake up until 1400 or so, and thought i had a nightmare, but when i saw everything, and i mean everything, gone, i knew it wasn't a dream. i called MCPD and an officer came over to take a report, and get some pictures. their report is ICR#: 1100####.

this is the part that bothers me the most: i never heard back from the PD. i get a letter from some towing company in des moines that my car has been sitting in their yard for the past 3 weeks. it had been towed at the request of PCSD. when i talked to the towing company they told me that it was going to cost me over $600 to get it back.

so my friend, and i drove down to the towing company in des moines, and picked up the car. i inquired why it didn't show up as being stolen. they just scratched their heads and said i would have to contact MCPD. i did, and they had no reason as to why it was never listed as hot.

i since then, have found out that some susan submitted a change of address form to the USPS online and that it took place on may 4th, i only found out about this on may 26th. i somehow got this letter from USPS telling me to call some 800 # if i didn't cause this forwarding. anyway. i have a phone number for bob. 515-745-9181. the change of address pointed to 2113 SE 8th St. in des moines. i looked that up on zillow, and the house is very familiar. i forgot to mention that they submitted the same address change to experian.

i know this guy is a meth dealer, pushing at least an ounce a week i hear... & i want this guy in jail. and am reaching out to anyone who can do something about it. my friends at MCPD are lazy or something. so if you would take a look at the matter, i would greatly appreciate it. lets get this cracker off the street. so if i can answer any of your questions, please do not hesitate to call or reply. my phone # is 641-###-####. my cell is 641-###-####.

stay tuned. i'll update things as they happen w/comments to this post.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

go ask alice - sing along time

the name of this song isn't go ask alice, or anything about alice. it's about a white rabbit... hence the title to this classic, white rabbit.

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small,
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all.
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall.

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall,
Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call.
Call Alice
When she was just small.

When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low.
Go ask Alice
I think she'll know.
When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead,
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said:
"Feed your head. Feed your head. Feed your head"

-jefferson airplane


Sunday, May 15, 2011

can't get into facebook, fuckers

i hate their webmaster for making it do damn difficult to login, and/or prove my identity. those sons of bitches have locked me out since i've been out of the hospital. and that's a whole week now. so i thought i'd post what i wanted to say in here. at least blogger's got google's credentials-matching. hell, if google practiced the same 'security' bullshit that facebook is using, i'd REALLY be pissed off, instead of just being annoyed. no it's more than being annoyed, i'm pissed off with facebook, and i let their webmaster know it too. calling him a fucking twit about 30 times in an email. hah. oh well. fuck 'em.

so what was i going to post? oh ya, my annoyance with youtube's new channel gui. yuk. i like the old style better. and i saw nowhere to let them know it. their loss.

i'm making mp3 out of all my videos on youtube. found a site that does it for free, and they're amazingly fast, too. it's makeitmp3.com. try it. you'll be glad you found it.

i'm sitting here listening to all the music i'm converting. getting tired of the same old songs, somewhat.i luv the music. but like anything, only in moderation. i've got COPS on the tv, muted of course. makes for nice video to the music. once in a while it syncs up. which is fun. wish i could capture the video. but i've got one of those emachines, that sold real cheap @ best buy. my house was robbed of every electronic device i had. that included 2 big lcd tvs, a mac, and a laptop, a sony vaio laptop. and external drives, my router. my vonage device. left me only the monitors, why, i have NO idea. but i'm glad i had them. so all i needed was a new cpu. and speakers, of course. i was able to put that on a credit card, so all i'm doing is paying it off over time. which helps. since my walllet was taken. and they emptied my bank account somehow. spent like over $400 at stores in des moines. fuck 'em. i gave both mason city police - who are totally worthless when it comes to doing their jobs. they never put my car, which was taken as well, on the network as being stolen. so when they recovered it almost a month later in des moines - it got towed on 4/12, and they notified me on the 26th. des moines police were never aware of it being stolen. fuck MCPD. i like cops, but these guyz proved themselves to not be worthy of wearing the uniform.


Thursday, March 24, 2011

something i'd make if i had a million bux

is an mp3 player (not a phone, but a nano type player) that would be 4G capable.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

wow, a whole month of NOTHING

well, i think what i'm gonna post tonite about, will be concerning cars. automobiles to be exact. personal automobiles. i basically come from a city (new york) where cars aren't as necessary as they are in iowa. 'sides, my license was cancelled in 2000, for coming up 79 days short of fulfilling my requirement to have an intoxilizer installed in my car. i sold the thing, and didn't think twice about being short. anyway, i never knew they cancelled it. so i continued to rent hertz cars. i think i even got a renewed license back in 2005. so what gives?

i'm driving a hertz car and get into a bumper bump while in the drive-up windows as the downtown taco john's by some woman who was like all fussy and insisting that we call the cops. so she does just that. finally the cop came down, and spoke to me, then spoke to her. the cop comes back and tells me she's keeping my license because it was cancelled. no reason, nothing. i was livid. plus, i get a ticket for no insurance - i didn't know it was in the glove box of this rental. so no production of docs, means ticketeroo. i go to court and have it dismissed, obvious reasons. why would hertz not be insured to the tilt with their cars? there's no requirement of adding additional insurance, although for a fee you can have protection for the car.

this was all because when the dot punished me for an OWI back in 1999, and i sold my car before the winter. anyway, so in order to get my license back, i had to (1) buy a car; (2) get insurance, which usually requires a license, which usually requires insurance. see the catch 22 one gets in with the DOT? anyway, so i went out and bought a car for $400. a jalopy, something, to allow an install of that blower. then, oh get this, as soon as the blower gets installed, i can't get my car to run. it dies when letting up on the gas.

i live right next to my cousin gary. he's a stock car driver, and his son, scotty, followed in his dad's footsteps and races for a few seasons. did well too. anyway, so scotty has a auto repair shop, and i had it towed from the installation site to the auto repair shop of scotty's. for 6 days, scotty couldn't determine why it was doing what it was doing. so he said to take it to charlies. a friend intervened and said to take it to coopers, a well known expert on car engines.

they had it for six weeks.

in the sixth week, and after 2 emails, i find out that the blower people had been up and removed the device. all on their own. iow, they removed it 10 days early... day 69 of 79. that's why the dot is all up in arms about me getting this done. hell i'm up in arms about it.

now i'm stuck with a useless car - it runs, but you have to coax it in the beginning. it's junk. i know it, and i'm prepared to deal with it. oh and the kicker? AII (affordable ignition interlock), the blower people, refuse to install it in the same vehicle, so i either get a new car, or find a friend willing to put up with a blower for 10 days. this is where you get to know your TRUE friends.,

Thursday, September 30, 2010

time for an update, plus, i'm a bit drunk

this is a fine spot i've got myself into. drunk, alone, and nobody home. anywhere. so i got tnt on, and watching CSI. i like that show. it's got all the markings for a good & long gig. almost like law & order, what with tnt's incessant broadcasting of it. don't get me wrong, i like law & order, and am thrilled when i see an episode i've never seen. but those are few and far between.

I'm drinking screwdrivers. i rarely drink anything with fruit juice in it, unless it's for breakfast. but liquor and i go waaay back, and we've been known to tie a few on. living in new york from 1980-2000, i was known for the drink i drank... jack, splash, twist in a mug. it really rolls off your tongue when you say it faster. but ya, jacks and i go very well together. never had a hangover on 'em, but blackouts? definitely. sometimes freekishly so. scary too. but i knew god was on my shoulder. or at least one of his angels.

speaking of angels, have any of you watched a show called supernatural? the two stars, jared and jenson, are my boys. they don't know it yet, but they've gotten me through some tough times. sometimes nothing will work, so jerk off, and all is well. anyway, angels are the beacons of heaven. they're the ones that watch out for our human frailty. the condition known as love, or lust, is a powerful tool. can be used for good or evil. and sometimes, rarely so, can it furnish fruitful contemplation on both good and evil. those are the cherished times, later in life.

anyway, i believe we all have our 'guardian angel'... a force that reckons with the reality of the situation and somehow gets your through it. how many times have you thought to yourself, god, i must be crazy, how in hell does this happen to me? all i can say is that SHIT HAPPENS. it's how we deal with it, that makes a difference in how our angels look out for us. i mean, one can be totally in denial and assume everything can be controlled by ones self. or one can be standing in the light, knowing that you've got good karma to back you up. and worries are meaningless emotions

so what does all this have to do with me, you might ask. well, let's see if i can put this in simple terms. God is the accumulative asset within all of us. through the thick and thin, it's the God in us that pulls us through. you didn't really believe that it was all because of YOU now, did ya? in a way, that would be true, but i like to think that God only happens when there is more than one of us.

the ice has melted in my drink. so i'll bid you adieu. or good night. or something sweet.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Rasputin sing along


sing long:

There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstacy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son

(Spoken:)
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.

"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and he said "I feel fine"

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

(Spoken:) Oh, those Russians...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

my weekend

well, after a weekend of fun, i had a fender bender accident (got rear ended in a drive thru at the local taco johns). the lady who hit me saw mjy ny plates (it was a hertz car) and started screaming bloody murder. that's right, the witch who hit me was screaming as if she was bleeding. the cops came and took a report, erroneously noting that there was damage - 400 to my car and 100 to hers. there was NO damage, it was barely a tap on the shoulder. anyway, i have a feeling that i'm gonna be paying thru the nose on this one. it's not right, but something tells me that i'm gonna have a problem with this whole mess. oh, and on top of that, cops said my license has been cancelled. i dropped my jaw, and asked why, but she couldn't tell me. the next day tho i calld DOT, and they's saying that i didn't complete my intoxilyzer on my car. that i still had 70 days to go. this was in 1999. since then, i've owned 2 cars, and had my license renewed since then. and now the DOT is sticking it to me with this nonsense.

so that was the ending to what would have been a great weekend. here's a big FUCK YOU dot.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

hallelujah! !

Something you should know about Saving Grace Lyrics

Title: Everlast - Saving Grace lyrics
Artist: Everlast Lyrics

Visitors (to the space) : 2395 visitors have hited Saving Grace Lyrics since June 03, 2010.



Saving Grace Lyrics
best-song-lyrics.com

One time around the block
Two times around the clock
Three times, don't cross the little lady (lady)

So pretty and, oh, so bold
Got a heart full of gold on a lonely road
She said, "I don't even think that God can save me" (save me)

(Am I) gainin' ground
(Am I) losin' face
(Have I) lost and found my saving grace
Thankful for the gift my angels gave me

Born alone, we die alone
'n' I'm just sittin' here by the phone
Waitin' for the Lord to send my callin'

Street wise from the boulevard
Jesus only knows that she tries too hard
She's only tryin' to keep the sky from fallin'

("How'd you know my name"
"God sent me"
"God sent you"
"Yes")

Any man who says it's Heaven and Hell
Prob'ly got somethin' useless to sell
You ask me if I'm saved, but what's it to ya?

Blow a quarter, cop another eight
You're runnin' out of high, you're losin' your faith
Throw your hands up and scream, "Hallelujah"

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Amen

("You're headed for hell, Grace
But God's givin' you one last chance
He sent me to help ya
Ha, ha, ha, ha")

One time around the sun
Another year older and my work ain't done
It's time for me to write the final chapter (chapter)

Deal the cards and roll the dice
Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll are my only vice
Tryin' to figure out just what's here after (here after)

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Amen

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

my twitter list

of following

User / Name Actions
tjnoon69 Toby James Noon
NetCDPBackup NetCDP Online Backup
KillianAdam Adam Killian
thesaloonmn Saloon MN
outfrontmn OutFront Minnesota
tonyBuff Tony Buff
boyTimmy Timmy
SamuelColtXXX Samuel Colt
bobbyclarkxxx Bobby Clark
ChrisPorterXXX Chris Porter
TomWolfeXXX Tom Wolfe
JaydenGreyXXX Jayden Grey
edspeleers Ed Speleers
patrick Patrick de Laive
TheNextWeb The Next Web Network
TrentDiesel69 Trent Diesel
JRatCOLT John Rutherford
thurrott Paul Thurrott
DJChiChiLaRue Chi Chi LaRue
DavidBlue David Blue

Monday, June 21, 2010

my horoscope for today

and i never let myself get all caught up in the details of these things... but when they sound so right, it's really hard to dismiss it outright.

anyway, i thought i'd post it for timekeeper's sake.

The Sun's return to your nurturing sign should feel refreshing, yet anxiety is difficult to avoid because so much is up in the air right now. You might find that even well thought out plans still need revision to adapt them to the unexpected changes. But making small modifications may be more complicated than just scrapping your previous idea and starting all over again. Today, radical action could offer you the best shot at getting what you want.

http://www.twittascope.com/?sign=4

Sunday, June 20, 2010

on the Phantom, Syfy's blockbuster 2 part pilot

and i hope it's a pilot to a new series. we need more superhero stuff especially on syfy. they're done with universe, let them start on the phantom. i pulled this from an interview lead character ryan carnes did..."Have you heard anything about if Syfy’s serious about creating an ongoing Phantom series? We’ve heard nothing definitive from Syfy. From the beginning, this was shot as a backdoor pilot and the intention was to just see how it goes and how it’s received. Now it’s going to air and have its big premiere, and the more who watch it and tune in, the better chance it has of going to a series.' (from HERE)

so, i hope everybody who watched it tonite, makes a lot of noise.

what to type...

when you have anything to say? do you go through with it, or do you put it off until you DO have something interesting to add to the flow of things. but ya see, that's why i only have maybe 16 followers, and i follow 24. the right size for just a taste of what's out there, and still maintain my comfortable self, i'm not 24/7 on facebook/ twitter. i do maybe 20 minutes all day, broken up into tiny checks and a smattering of posts. there's that occasional piece of actual work that pops it's head in once in a while.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

wanna laugh your ass off?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF-9gVWtx8Q&feature=player_embedded

and fukn facebook now, get this:
it wont load in chrome, the error i get is this:
This webpage has a redirect loop.

The webpage at http://facebook.com/#!/home.php?sk=lf has resulted in too many redirects. Clearing your cookies for this site or allowing third-party cookies may fix the problem. If not, it is possibly a server configuration issue and not a problem with your computer.

Here are some suggestions:
Reload this web page later.
Learn more about this problem.
More information on this error

so i tried opera, which is my browser that should connect when chrome cant, and the page is all twistewd with fields overlapping text, and columns not display in columns. IE wont display the paged at all, and gives no reason as to why - typical bill gates.

so i dunno what the fuck. i only got that one link, but hopefully it'll work for you.

well, chrome just gave me this: Error 310 (net::ERR_TOO_MANY_REDIRECTS): There were too many redirects.

too many redirects? wtf?:??

(on edit): opera was able to get to the 'bottom' of the page, which has this gem:
This stream is unavailable at this time. Please try again soon.

boy, i tell ya, between twitter and facebook, i'll bet they have half the traffic of the net going thru it at least once a day.

Friday, June 11, 2010

hey microsoft:

when is windows media player going to go blue? ya know, when will it support blu ray? as far as i'm concerned, and i'm sure a lot of users feel the same way, but we're way past time for WMP to catch up to the latest technologies.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

what song is it?

am watching bones, and the episode is 'the suyperhero in the alley (2006). there's a scene where bones and seeley are in a bowling alley, and there's music plaing in the background. i immediately recognize the tune, somewhat, but haven't a clue as to what the title of the song is. I MUST FIND OUT, AS IT'S BUGGIN THE SHIT OUTTA ME.

anybody know?

Monday, May 31, 2010

google having a helluva time keeping things right with their browser. i'm a diehard chrome user, so it really pains me to say this: GOOGLE GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER. your apps are screwin up sending undeliverable messages to some phoney number instead of the one that was typed at the top of the form. gmail is telling me it cant deliver mail that's been going to the same address for years. it also is bouncing some of my mail as i have later discovered. that's about all i can take from you gmail, straighten up or i'll go resurrect yahoo. and yes, FIX CHROME before anything else.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

watching the last episode of LOST.

and it'll be the first time i've watched it, for longer than 15 minutes. like the times before tonite, i always ended up being the one who gets lost. really. i thought tonite's finale was going to be more walking down memory lane. not even in the slightest.

if you don't know the plot, you're the one who's going to get LOST. folowing the storylines of how many people are there on this island? but 9/10 of what i saw tonite - between 20:55 - 21:22 (CDT), had to be from another era, in a different locale. maybe if someone were to explain it to me in simple terms, maybe i could appreciate it as much as some people do.

i'm more of a stargate kinda guy. and this was no stargate.

Quote of the Day

"Dream as if you were to live forever. Live as if you die today."
- James Dean -

Friday, May 21, 2010

i don't know who makes my cable box, but the damn thing is about the lowest tech possible. i ask ya, why can't it display display BOTH time and channel at the same time?

jeez, why doesn't it surprise me that those units would cost a whopping .015 (that's a penny and a half) more. who designs these things anyway? some hack in hackensack?

oh wait, i'm asking my cable company to do something right? that's a laugh.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

from page 2238 of my diary.

%2227%

well, I cant get to www.mydomain.com. fuckers. twitter’s back tho. so ya lose one, ya gain one. all fo r nuttin I’ll bet. the 2nd thing most annoying to me. the #1 most annoying thing ever? oh I’d have to go with driving 5mph in a 2lane hike thru the mountains. the curves on the road prevent you from doing anything more than 30mph for about 20 miles of winding road. an excellent thing to do when you’re drunk on margueritas, full on tostado chips and salsa/cheese, and more margueritas. then it was shot time. 5-6 shots, and we were ready (and willin) to go. mind you, I’ve only driven a school bus… um, no other time. nope. this is the first time I get behind the wheel of a yellow school bus. filled with screaming faggots on the streets in san Francisco, bright and shiny day. the beach was badass. ended up0 partying with some bikers. I mean, bikers and schoolbuses are just what the doc ordered. ;) anyway, it was time to go back and pick up everybody at their designated corners. luckily I had a map. and by god, I got ‘em all before 9pm. we we’re on the road home (on highway 1 abvout 70 miles north of the city.. I think I was able to pick up the interstate going over the bridge. somehow. ya, God was with me that night. thank god I said my prayers last nite.


%P.S. on edit at 2235%

THIS WAS A CUT AND PASTE JOB. i just needed to capture the moment. whether it did or not, i'll not know for some time before this will be used. no fret, what's time anyway.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

hmmmm . . . . .

now i forgot what it was that i needed to record? darn it. oh well. i'l remember what it was, and fully

TO: VIRGINMOBILE

from: you know who.
Subject: VM is playing funny with my money

can you explain why you deducted so much money from my bank last week? on 5/1 you deducted $8.44, then 3 days later you deducted $21.40, then 4 minutes later you deducted $5.00, oh and it gets better... only 9 hours after that, you deducted $10.00., what the hell are you doiing deducting so many times so mucfh money from my bank account. i see you can NOT trusted with my bank account information. from this point forward, any and all information you have related abnout my bank should be deleted from your computers. should i find that you have persisted to play funny with my money, i'll contact my lawyers, on both sides of the pond, and will pursue any legal action that may be necessary to ensure you keep your grubby little hands off my money., do i make my self CRYSTAL clear?? this of course after you remit the money you had no business taking.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

fuckn facebook

i'd sure like to know what's going on when i cant get to facebook, and end up on this site:

Lundbladh

Friday, April 16, 2010

a message from an old flame

years ago, i'd have to say back before i was homeless, which would put it at about 1988 or so, i think it was around that time, i met a kid, whose name is robert clivilles. he lived in the projects on east 28th street in manhattan. it was an area that i went to to get drugs. anyway, he was in his bedroom on the 2nd floor with the windows open so the whole neighborhood could hear the music he was playing. he would practice dj'n for his gigs, which were parties held in different places in the lower east side. well, i fell for him immediately. a real hottie he was, but too young to do anything with, so i basically became friends with him, and helped him with his mixes by lending a critical ear, actually he didn't need much help as he was a star in my eyes already. to tell you the truth, he was teaching ME some things. scratching was still in it's infant stage, but he was starting to incorporate that technique long before it became the thing to do. anyway, i was still living with man parrish, but that was about to end.

i ended up moving in with an old working buddy, tom kinzy, who had a 2 bedroom spacious apartment on 7th avenue between 17th and 18th streets, on the grounde floor. it was a remarkable dwelling, featured in architectural digest. anyway, i remember one time when i invited rob and some friends over to the house where we got partied until the wee hours, and rob ended up sleeping in my new bed, even before i had a chance to sleep in it. i passed out before the others in tom's bed, so that's why i didn't approach either one of them with sex on my mind. iow, God saved me from getting involved with a minor.

anyway, there's many more memories i have of rob, and his cousin ricky. now ricky was more approachable, as i think he was older, not much, but older nonetheless, which made him legal age. but that's for another story, another time. back to rob.

i just happened to put his name in the search bar on facebook, and sure enough, his name bounced back rob's page, which is HERE. so i contacted him with a facebook message, and he replied right away (as i've learned since then, he's getting his notifications on his phone) with this nice note:

Robert Clivilles April 16 at 7:13am

What up D!!!!!

Of course I remember D Shimth..

Man it's been a while...

I'm still making music part time, I'm about to release a girl that probably will blow up with the hot music we created together.

How have you been D?

Some people told me you had passed away a long time ago.

Wow, it's great to see that you are well and healthy.

I hope things are good.

How come I never saw you while I was in C&C?

I had a huge studio on 13th street in the westside man.

I always thought you would come around and say hey..

Or had you moved by then?

My spirituality?

Yeah I Matured, I've always believed in God, it just took me to make it and have all my dreams come true and experiance life good & bad, poor & rich to see what's really up.

I know and most importantly accepted the truth now.

We can talk about it anytime.

I have a big family now 4 kids!!!

Everything is good, I had taken 7 years off when my partner passed away, ended up creating this big family and then went back to work 4 years ago with a group I had created called MVP( most valuable playas) had to hits in Europe with them and then took off another year, now I'm back for a few years with this new girl to maybe do another 5 years and then I'm done..

Anyway stay in touch...

You remember my cousin Ricky Crespo?

He's here in facebook, I think he hung with us back then?

anyway, i just wanted to preserve this in my records. i spoze i should add this to my timeline on hitchhiker. but i'm gonna have to wait until i get some bud. it'll be better to embellish the story, add more to some memories i have of that time period. so until then, i'll be crawlin and searchin for more people/places in my life.

Friday, April 09, 2010

social networking and watching syfy

are the two possibly related?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

this pisses me off to no end

someone's fuckn with dns, because www.facebook.com produces the front page to the washington post. www.twitter.com produces a 404 - page not found.

whoever is behind this, i jus got one thing to say to your sad sorry ass: GROW THE FUCK UP.

well tnt, you've hit a double tonite

watched cold case, and heard another song that tags at my heartstrings, count your lucky stars tonite.

that's a double header from tnt tonite. way to go guys.


on edit: well, turner, you got me tonite. i'll say that. not only did you do saving grace, and i only got to see :28 minutes of it, but then you had cold case, and heard count your stars or whatever it's called, but i saw the rest of 8 mile, emenim's debut, which turned out like all goosebumpy because i remember us playing the nigga clubs, not in detroit, but in new york, and some of those scenes brought back a LOT of memories. so, i'm heading to bed 4 hours later than i usually do, and it's all due to tnt/tbs programming. way to go.

NOW DAMMIT, SAVE GRACE FOR SYNDICATION!

hellya

i've replayed that theme to saving grace at least a dozen times.

and i'm still rock hard.

Monday, March 29, 2010

the final episodes of saving grace

are starting right now, and in celebration of this one hit wonderkind, i give you the lyrics by everlast:

One time around the block
Two times around the clock
Three times, don't cross the little lady (lady)

So pretty and, oh, so bold
Got a heart full of gold on a lonely road
She said, "I don't even think that God can save me" (save me)

(Am I) gainin' ground
(Am I) losin' face
(Have I) lost and found my saving grace
Thankful for the gift my angels gave me

Born alone, we die alone
'n' I'm just sittin' here by the phone
Waitin' for the Lord to send my callin'

Street wise from the boulevard
Jesus only knows that she tries too hard
She's only tryin' to keep the sky from fallin'

Any man who says it's Heaven and Hell
Prob'ly got somethin' useless to sell
You ask me if I'm saved, but what's it to ya?

Blow a quarter, cop another eight
You're runnin' out of high, you're losin' your faith
Throw your hands up and scream, "Hallelujah"

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Amen

One time around the sun
Another year older and my work ain't done
It's time for me to write the final chapter (chapter)

Deal the cards and roll the dice
Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll are my only vice
Tryin' to figure out just what's here after (here after)

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Amen


i second that emotion: A MEN!

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

woah boyyyyy

http://penis.farpoint.org/diary.htm

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

naming of the new laptop

]]]]]]65`]=187h6sw2q 1`i'd like to present to the world, my baby, TORSO. one bad ass machine and definitely worthy of the name.

the dictionary lists torso as:

Main Entry: tor·so
Pronunciation: \ˈtȯr-(ˌ)sō\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural torsos or tor·si \ˈtȯr-ˌsē\
Etymology: Italian, literally, stalk, from Latin thyrsus stalk, thyrsus (ooh, the greek god of wine)
Date: 1722

1 : a sculptured representation of the trunk of a human body
2 : something (as a piece of writing) that is mutilated or left unfinished
3 : the human trunk


the human trunk. that sounds about right.

Friday, February 19, 2010

xfiles trivia mulder scully kiss

in an x-files adventure, called "triangle", mulder and scully actually kiss aboard an old english cruise ship that suddenly appears out of nowhere in the bermuda triangle. i think it's the only time they kiss. so for all you trivia fans out there, especially those of you who like x-files, i'll let ya have this one. it was all a dream anyway, so maybe in real life, they have yet to taste each other. it's also the episode where he actually tells scully he loves her. and they leave it at that.

update: it appears that mulder and scully have in fact kissed, OFF the set. here's the pics to prove it -----> http://www.tvchitchat.net/xf2-news-mulder-and-scully-kiss-pics/

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

my dream machine

would be the one i have.

although, i wouldn't turn down a i7.


Tuesday, February 09, 2010

a paragraph from my diary

a paragraph from my diary:and damnnit all, I’[m suffering from these hiccups. they’re brginging up shit from tummy. I’m trying to make them go away. now that they’re gone. yes, time elapsed: 2 seconds. it’s all in the head.

http://www.facebook.com/iyam.leQ should be in a hotkey.

Friday, February 05, 2010

who needs apps

when you have webapps that'll do the job for ya, for free? i wanted to record the theme song for warehouse 13. the problem was my audio system was set up and plugged into my mac, which is out of commission right now. so rather than rewire everything to get audio into my laptop, i found a site on the web that has the tune for me, all queued up and ready to go.


and while i was there, i checked out whether they really had the goods, and sure enough, they did. the lost in space theme song - 3rd season (1967), in its entirety. this was the very first song i learned on the piano, my piano that my parents gave me for first communion, and without music, which turned my music teacher on (sister damien, st. joe, 1967).


hell, i invite each and everyone of you to play the included game of NAME THAT TUNE, er showtune. i scored 289. and i thought i did well. post your score if you play. so g'head and have some fun.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

see? the way i see it, is want to watch tv, interact with whatever is being shown, ande have the ability to order direcdtly with one button. htat should be standazrd on all video/audio systems.

Monday, January 25, 2010

my last diary entry

%1905%

well, son of a bitch. I fell asleep on the couch, and woke up freezing my ass, and it’s pitch black except for the tv. thinking it’s been on all night I shut it off. then I take apiss before heading to bed, thinking I could jus call vino ramon and leave a message the my pilot light wenet out and I couldn’t get it backi lit until my cousin woke up to go to work. anuyway, I’ve ben trying to call down to vino's office for the laswt half hour, and getting nobody, including the numbers I HAD, to answer. then I would have gone to be, had it not been for my need to write an entry in my diary. so I do to pull up the diary, and the day field was still marked for monday. then it dawnd o me to look at the clock on my taskbar, and sure enough it was PM, not am. fucin b9itch. I’m not late and can stay up for a while longer., and fix something nice to eat. anuyway, that’s my funny story for the day.