time for an update, plus, i'm a bit drunk

this is a fine spot i've got myself into. drunk, alone, and nobody home. anywhere. so i got tnt on, and watching CSI. i like that show. it's got all the markings for a good & long gig. almost like law & order, what with tnt's incessant broadcasting of it. don't get me wrong, i like law & order, and am thrilled when i see an episode i've never seen. but those are few and far between.

I'm drinking screwdrivers. i rarely drink anything with fruit juice in it, unless it's for breakfast. but liquor and i go waaay back, and we've been known to tie a few on. living in new york from 1980-2000, i was known for the drink i drank... jack, splash, twist in a mug. it really rolls off your tongue when you say it faster. but ya, jacks and i go very well together. never had a hangover on 'em, but blackouts? definitely. sometimes freekishly so. scary too. but i knew god was on my shoulder. or at least one of his angels.

speaking of angels, have any of you watched a show called supernatural? the two stars, jared and jenson, are my boys. they don't know it yet, but they've gotten me through some tough times. sometimes nothing will work, so jerk off, and all is well. anyway, angels are the beacons of heaven. they're the ones that watch out for our human frailty. the condition known as love, or lust, is a powerful tool. can be used for good or evil. and sometimes, rarely so, can it furnish fruitful contemplation on both good and evil. those are the cherished times, later in life.

anyway, i believe we all have our 'guardian angel'... a force that reckons with the reality of the situation and somehow gets your through it. how many times have you thought to yourself, god, i must be crazy, how in hell does this happen to me? all i can say is that SHIT HAPPENS. it's how we deal with it, that makes a difference in how our angels look out for us. i mean, one can be totally in denial and assume everything can be controlled by ones self. or one can be standing in the light, knowing that you've got good karma to back you up. and worries are meaningless emotions

so what does all this have to do with me, you might ask. well, let's see if i can put this in simple terms. God is the accumulative asset within all of us. through the thick and thin, it's the God in us that pulls us through. you didn't really believe that it was all because of YOU now, did ya? in a way, that would be true, but i like to think that God only happens when there is more than one of us.

the ice has melted in my drink. so i'll bid you adieu. or good night. or something sweet.