this is a continuation from yesterday's unfinished work. as it is, i'm still here and it's christmas. merry christmas to you all out there and thanks for your calls and emails. but it's christmas and i jus couldn't pull myself to do it and let christmas becomes a depressed holiday because of my suicide. so i've put it on hold right now, and that's exactly where it belongs.
but ya, i really thought about it tho. it wasn't an easy decision, which wasn't surprising. but ya, i had to think about it from both sides. and the side that wanted to, jus couldn't pass the muster test this morning. by muster i mean i couldn't get past the 'remembered holiday' argument being solid enough to warrant action, and in this case, inaction. i think i've gone, for the first time, to the point against the deed more than once. it might become
there are developments. i'll catch them in the next post. stay tuned.
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