Letter Of The Day

It appears state legislators and those who hate government intervention (except when it intervenes in your life because they know you have to be watched over), have latched onto another issue to demagogue — TouchPlay gambling machines.

Excuse me, I have to check my online gambling account — hey, a winner.

Now, back to the machines — how dare these “altars of the devil’s worship” remain in our state. I have to run get my Powerball ticket, a few pull tabs and scratch tickets.

Back to the demon machines. Darn those electronic bandits. Is that the mail carrier I hear. Great, I got my quarterly stock reports. My gamble on growth stocks is paying off — sorry, poor choice of words. No gamble to the stock market — that’s why they call your money “investments,” see? Speaking of the stock market, did you see where the Enron guys are coming up for trial?

Back to those machines that beckon like a siren’s song as you happen by one. Diabolical inventions! Don’t know about you, but I can hardly wait to get some bets down in the NCAA pools (pick your location: work, friends, bar, etc.). Does anyone know when the new casino opens west of Northwood? If it’s anything like the tracks and casinos we already have, I’m sure it will turn over a few “entertainment” dollars. Incredible “economic growth” measure, that new casino — and it promises to be more fun than my bingo nights.

Speaking of bingo, I love church picnics — you know, the ones with the paddle wheels, poker hands, ring tosses and even the cakewalks for the kids. Does anyone know where I can get my hands on a few of those charity raffle tickets I keep hearing about?

We need to get rid of those machines — they’re corrupting influences. Gambling — who needs it?
--Roger Crimmins, Mason City

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